I once had an incredible leader pose me an insightful question: “How do I know if my actions are motivated by ego?”

This concept of ego is a confusing one for many leaders. On the one hand, leaders have been led to believe that charisma and a big personality inspire confidence in employees and shareholders. Then, Jim Collins and team wrote the blockbuster Good to Great and reported that the greatest companies are led by humble leaders with names memorable only to those lucky enough to work with them.

I think that part of the confusion stems in part from an incorrect equating of ego and confidence.

Ego: the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world

Ego
So when we say someone has a big ego, we imply that he or she is more focused on one’s self than others. She thinks about actions and events first in terms of how they impact her or what they reveal about her, creating a wall of separation between herself and others that limits her ability to feel empathy.

This self-focus is an unnecessary and unhelpful filter that guides behavior and reduces effectiveness in all areas of life.

We tire of working for people with inflated egos. We spend unnecessary energy trying to influence them and communicate in a way that makes it through their egoistic filter. We limit the amount of information we share because we’ve learned that if it challenges the ego, it won’t be heard and we, the messenger, may suffer.

We prefer to work with people who are self-aware, not self-obsessed. [Read more...]