Advice: Proceed With Caution

Posted on Mar 01 by BrillianceInc

Great coaches give advice sparingly, even though they have ample amounts to give. They are like good Driver’s Ed instructors. Ever been inside a Driver’s Ed car? They resemble ordinary cars with one big exception-a functional brake pedal on the passenger’s side. The good instructor uses the pedal in emergencies only. They know that if they use it more often, they leave the student dependent on the instructor, rather than confident and fully capable of handling whatever surprises-like stop signs-the road may present.

It’s appropriate to have a passenger-side brake with beginner drivers. With experienced drivers, I think this could become grounds for assault, or at least divorce. In business, it’s appropriate to dish out ample servings of advice to beginners. And hopefully, all of us are encountering new situations all the time at work. So the trick is for managers to discern when an employee is a beginner and when he or she brings ample amounts of experience to a challenge.

Dish out advice to an experienced employee and you risk creating dependency. They can solve problems faster if they ask you. So, ask they do. And then you spend your days solving other people’s problems. You get to feel important.. and miss working on more strategic problem solving and staff development.

So, what can you offer instead of advice? You evoke brilliance when you help people see the problem from a new angle-an angle that allows for a solution that was not visible before. We call this type of reorientation Recasting. Same clay, different pot.

Here are some tools anyone can use to shake up his own or others’ views:

• Metaphor: Managing is like being a drivers ed instructor. Use of the break is only appreciated when the employee/student is just learning.

>Story: “There is a story about a young student who..”

• Quote: “You must learn from your past mistakes, but not lean on your past successes”. Denis Waitley
• Song: Break the Window by Fiona Apple
• Imagery: See side bar
• Language: in the form of an open-ended powerful question
  • How could you remove obstacles?
  • How could you make the impossible possible?
  • Assume you are at your retirement party. What do you want to be remembered for?
  • If nothing changes a year from now, what will you feel?
• Poetry: Two Wolves
  • A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt about a tragedy. He said, ‘I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.’ The grandson asked him, ‘Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?’ The grandfather answered, ‘The one I feed.’ ~Native American Proverb

As in any creative process, sometimes you have to recast several times before you create the masterpiece. So don’t assume that one question or metaphor will break open possibility. Stay with it. Have fun in your new creative mode.

And drive safely.

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