Don’t Believe Every Assessment You Take
As a leadership coach, you might think I’d like personality assessments. But I don’t. It’s not that they don’t have some value. I just think that they’re more limited than people allow for: that humans are more complex than any automatic assessment can capture.
And I don’t care what their creators and promoters say about how precise they are, I get different results depending on the time of day, what’s going on my life, and how much coffee I’ve had.
Perhaps you’ve felt boxed in by one of these reports. According to at least two instruments, I’m an Introvert. And sometimes that feels true: I do sometimes like to think quietly until I’ve fleshed out my thoughts. Other times, though, I spew nascent ideas as fast as I can think them. At times I do gain energy by being alone. But after a while I need to get up and be with people.
About 7 years ago, I came across an assessment called the Highlands Ability Battery that promised to measure innate abilities that didn’t fluctuate after the age of 14.
That was when I heard the term Ambivert for this first time. Finally, I felt understood by an assessment. It was actually worth the painstaking three plus hours to take the tests.
We Ambiverts can be very confusing to others. We can be gregarious one moment, meditative the next. We get a charge from being with people and working on a team…until we don’t. For me, this really resonated. I can lead a day-long workshop with passion and deep empathy. After, you can find me in a fetal position in my car, recharging my batteries.
For you all you Introverts and Extroverts, I have a message: it’s not personal, and we’re not crazy.
So What Can an Ambivert Do?
Let people know about your style: that your behavior fluctuations are not about them, just about you needing to manage energy. Be realistic about your needs. When you need to recharge, don’t feel guilty stepping away. You’ll be more useful and nice to be around when you return. And when you’re in the mood to talk out loud, say that these are early thoughts and that you’re tossing them out. On the other hand, if you need time to think before responding, say so. People will be less confused, and will make fewer wrong assumptions about your intent.
Think you’re an Ambivert? How can you tell? What advice do you have for others?
Assess Yourself: Find out if you’re an Ambivert with this quick online assessment from Dan Pink
Article: Why Ambiverts Succeed in the Workplace
Book: Don’t Waste Your Talent by Don Hutcheson
I figured out a few years ago my introvert-extrovert ways can be confusing to others. It’s really validating to see that there’s a term – ambivert – and that others experience this same reaction. I always wondered where other ambiverts are since most people I know seem to function best closer to the one end or the other of the spectrum.
I just found out I’m an Ambivert. Still dont know what that means. If I had to think of what it meant, I would say, depends on the mood. Like being bipolar. Yeah. We do need to step away and recharge, we do need to be social creatures at times, we can be alone, we can be surrounded. We can be the life of the party, and we could be the one standing in the corner muttering to ourselves. (Okay, that one was creepy) Point is, we are able to do things without hating it because…. we are Ambiverts? Well, can anyone tell me more? You have any idea how hard it is trying to tell people how you are and getting it wrong because you like both things? I like being quiet, or just reading a book quietly but I’m also a DJ, so I like the blaring sound pounding away at my face as well. It also has its benefits, but I wont tell you what that is cuz its our little secret. he he.
I discovered the term ambivert like 5 minutes ago while watching a video about introverts. I’ve always thoughts was an introvert, but I guess I’m actually an ambivert who leans towards introversion. I’m not fully there though. I love being alone. I truly do. But I can be the life of a group. A trendsetter. Someone to be remembered, quoted, and revered. My sister is super extroverted. I’ve always tried to explain to her that I was introvert but also an extrovert. She didn’t believe it because I was not like her. I need to make the choice to be an extrovert. It simply comes naturally to her. But as Jax said, I’m probably just as likely to be the life of the party as I am to being someone who ditches it early. It strongly depends on my mood whether i’ll be extroverted or introverted at any given moment. I’m just super happy there’s an in-between that other people actually identify themselves.
It’s the first time I’ve ever heard about the term ambivert, and I’ve never knew such existed, even if I am one!
I have found myself needing time to recharge after I had been outgoing, and doing things that would make me an extrovert. And not once, I have questioned this a long time, but thank you for the article! It finally gave me an answer to myself
I have always referred to this as my “inner struggle.” Any time I have ever taken a introvert/extrovert test, I usually get 51% and 49% ratios depending on how the test is scored.
Like others said, it IS cool that there is a group of people who identify themselves as an ambivert. It sounds ridiculous, but having to deal with this on a daily basis makes it very real to me! The best way I can explain it is that I always feel like “me” and I have a stable emotional level although I have the ability to experience high highs and low lows. Yet, It takes a long time for people to get to know me/understand me. It is not because I am shy but because to them I seem different each time they see me until a few times have gone by.. then people tell me “oh that’s just how you are.” I have also been called paradoxical by a few different friends who don’t even know each other; I think this ambivert part of me is what they were referring to.
It is interesting how introverts and extroverts are opposites in a big way. The way they direct energy and take in the world are OPPOSITE of each other. It is very interesting how having two completely different ways of processing information and the world in one person manifests. It also seems that whether or not I am introverted or extroverted highly depends on my mood so it can be frustrating when I am introverted but need to be extroverted or vice versa because I think to myself “you know you can do this!” ..just only when I’m in that mode of operation.
This was an excited rant so may not make sense!
Like Rocky mentioned, anytime I took an introversion/extroversion assessment I would score a roughly 50% ratio. People who know me very well like my husband or best friends know that I need my space and alone time, but other people like extended family and acquaintances often comment on my outgoing and gregarious nature.
I always figured that I was either an introvert that learned to function well in an extroverted world or an extrovert that had learned introversion from my introverted father. One word that does apply to me is intense. I wonder if this intensity is common to other ambiverts?
I heard about this term not 5 minutes ago from my brother was shocked that it kinda resonated with me, so I decided to do a little research on it and to be honest, I almost feel like crying with relief. It’s always bothered me that, if all those tests kept telling me I was an introvert, then why do I sometimes feel like running towards the nearest nightclub and chatting with people when I’m home alone or sometimes feeling like I’d rip my hair out if I didn’t get just a little time alone when being surrounded by people? Turns out I was just a shy ambivert.
It is interesting to see the comments here from fellow ambiverts. As a consultant and group facilitator I also find myself in “fetal position” recouping my center afterr being in the spotlight. Other personality evals such as Meyers Briggs have a continuum. I score right down the middle, a little on one side then the other depending on the trait, but not strongly in any categories. Is this common with ambiverts? Interesting ….. So to be conscious or “mindful” in the Ellen Langer sense is to avoid the natural tendency or need to put someone in a box. Oh, so you’re an extrovert…..phew…now I understand. Or notice our own relief….phew…I am an ambivert…that explains a lot…!! Well, yes it can be helpful but a more mindful approach is to just notice, accept, adapt, enjoy and then laugh at ourselves.
This is the first description of this term I found, but it was presented to me by Susan Cain in her Ted talk about “The power of introversion”. Like all the above, I usually end up about 49% to 51% split, favoring extroversion ever so slightly. I never knew what to think of my disposition and the descriptions above really help. I’ve always felt kind of crazy, like I can’t pin down what I like to do or how I should be. I hate parties and big social gatherings, but I’m really happy to stand up in front of a group of people and talk with very little prep. People think I’m extroverted, but usually I can’t wait to get away and hide if I’ve been with people for more than an hour. If I have a difficult problem to work on, I need hours and days of rumination about it, yet I need to tell everyone what I’m thinking. It goes on. Why do I need a category? I agree with the comments above, because other people want to know what you like and don’t like, how they can respond to you. Also, I don’t always know, sometimes I like the big loud stuff, sometimes I don’t. I never know what it’s going to be. In our extroverted obsessed world, I feel like it’s more important to be big and loud an outgoing. So I do feel forced into this in the times I don’t feel that it’s my way or appropriate. The problem is that my “introvert” is distracted all the time. I’m feeling that I have never tapped into the strengths of this aspect of my personality, because our world centers around extroversion. There is so much power in introversion and I’d like to use it more. Anyway, knowing what circumstances require recharging has been a life saver for me and that’s where the Myers-Briggs and other tests helps. When I found out I’m not a true extrovert, it helped me understand what introverts do a bit more and how to manage my energy levels.
Reading this article and all the comments have definitely helped me out. For the longest time I was confused as to why I could relate to my extroverted and introverted friends. Like Rocky, I was always told my personality “was just who I am”. It always bothered me that I could handle a giant gathering one night but would need an entire day to myself to recoup. Also, some of my friends don’t understand this “ambiversion” either and would get upset with me. I’m happy now I can actually explain to them my personality and why I am the way I am.I just want to thank everyone for talking about it and shedding some light to ambiversion. I came across this term about half an hour ago and have been madly searching for articles on it. By far this is the best description!
I agree that this is a relief to find out that there is a such thing as an ambivert. It’s fascinating to me to think about how so many factors (birth order, early experiences, genetics, etc) can influence someone’s personality. I like being an ambivert because it allows to me to enjoy interaction with others, ometimes more than other times, but also enjoy time alone. I am very outgoing and affectionate, but sometimes I feel lost in a crowd and need some time to recharge. I recharge by praying and exercising mainly.
The interesting thing is that, no matter what mood I am in, God’s grace is sufficient for me. When I struggle with anxiety about my personal identity, He continually reminds me that no matter what personality I have, I am first and foremost a beloved child of God. This realization, when I take the time to think about it, puts me in awe! I can relax because I know I am deeply loved, protected and cared for.
Although I have many personal shortcomings and distinctions, the most important thing about me is that I am His. He sees me as righteous because of what Christ did for me. I am a new creation in Christ. That doesn’t mean I don’t retain my ambiverted personality. In fact, my personality (and yours) enable me to understand and relate to God in special ways. It’s just that what is more important even then my personality is that I have been redeemed. “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.”
Wow, I just stumbled on this term and had to research it. Yay, for finally finding something that fits me! My husband always thought it was strange that one day I could be the life of the party, and then not even want to GO to the next party. Myers-Briggs shows I am usually an ENTJ, but after a particularly rough week (for example), I will score as an INTJ. Why? Because sometimes people are energizing, and sometimes they can be exhausting. I feed on the energy of the people around me. Positivity feeds positivity, and negativity breeds more negativity. Until discovering this word, and realizing there are many others like me, I always felt like quite the paradox!