Attention Please

by Denise Green | Adapting to Change, Communication, Optimal Results, Relationship & Trust, Uncategorized Comments | 0

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Fragmented Attention

Perhaps you’ve heard: we are the most distracted humans to have walked the earth. And apparently, being distracted— fragmenting yourself so that no one thing or person gets your full attention—has damaging effects on your relationships, results, and stress levels.

I’m not sure what’s more annoying, being distracted or being told that I need to stop being so distracted when at this exact moment, my phone is ringing, my email just binged, my kid needs to be fed, the laundry is in a mountainous pile, my proposal is jammed in the printer, the dentist keeps sending me escalating reminders that I am past due for a teeth cleaning, and the dog is looking at me forlornly.

So what’s a person to do? I know that yoga and/or mediation help increase calm and focus. Which sounds great assuming the yoga teacher does laundry, fixes printers, walks the dog, and cleans teeth.

Focus 101

Until then, here’s a primer for attention challenged ones comme moi:

1. Decide that you want to give this moment (person, task) your full attention for ____ minutes.

2. Turn off and reduce distractions: close your laptop, turn off your phone, put a do-not-disturb note on the door, put the papers on your desk to one side, write a list of things you need to remember/do (writing it down frees up valuable brain space).

3. Breathe deeply.

4. Practice being in one place, doing one thing.

5. When your attention drifts, recall your commitment, breathe deeply, and return your curious attention to the person/task.

6. Reflect. What was gained from this exercise? What’s in it for you to increase your ability to feel settled and focused?

7. Repeat 342 times per day.

The Upside of Focus

Despite our best attempts to multitask, we really can only do one thing well at a time.

By learning to give more of your full attention to the important work and people around you, you’ll find that conversations and tasks are more efficient, with fewer mistakes and misunderstandings, potentially leaving you time for things like yoga, family, or cleaner teeth.

“Be here, prepared to be nowhere else.” (Susan Scott: principle of a Fierce Conversation).

Indulge in the Moment this Holiday

I hope this primer serves you this season, when we have an opportunity to escape from some of the sources that pull on our attention. Even so, it’s not easy to let go the impulse to check email, voice mail, and fragment your attention.  If you are a leader in an organization, know that when you become more focused (or fragmented), those around you do as well. May you reap many awards from indulging fully in the moment.

“I’d had enough so I threw the blackberry out the car window.” An inventive client who shall go nameless.

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Self-Improvement that Sticks

by Denise Green | Adapting to Change, Coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Favorite, Leadership, Neuroleadership, Personal Development Comments | 0

How are those New Year’s Resolutions coming along? By now, you must be a nicer, calmer, healthier, happier, more productive version of yourself, right?

If you’re falling a bit short of your lofty resolutions, read on and learn how to make self improvement really stick.

The Good News About Self-Improvement

Anyone can change their thoughts, behaviors, and habits. Despite past claims that adult brains were fixed, findings over the last decade reveal that brains constantly adjust to inputs. Neuroplasticity–the brain’s constant adaptation–means that you can teach any (willing) dog new tricks.

The Bad News About Self-Improvement

It’s not as fast or as easy as we might like. In an ideal world, you’d pick something about yourself to improve, do a little homework — read a book, attend a class, or watch a YouTube video — and voila, a new improved you! Unfortunately it’s not that easy.  When faced with challenges that conspire to take us off track, we may give in to inertia and settle for the latest version of ourselves. A little crack appears in our soul, patched with guilt and excuses (and wine).

HOW IT WORKS

Real Tools for Change [Read more...]

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How Stuff Gets Done Well: And What To Do When it Doesn’t

by BrillianceInc | Adapting to Change, Building Teams, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Employee Engagement, Innovation, Our Favorites, Relationship & Trust, Science of Leadership, Uncategorized Comments | 0

Have you ever tried to get things done when there was low trust among team members? Or how about trying to get things done when you are new to an organization? It’s not easy.

Relationship is the grease on the wheels of business. When you have it, all else flows more smoothly and efficiently. Without it, everything takes longer: communication is stilted and unclear; miscommunication leads to re-work; efforts to save face or deflect blame distract precious energy.  Yet, often we neglect true team-building, thinking that it will steal valuable time from “real” work.

Relationship Pyramid

At Brilliance Inc., we liken the work process to a pyramid, with relationship at the foundation. Sure, you can flip it and try minimizing relationship while you focus on results, but like a spinning top, it’s unsustainable. And the resulting poor outcomes will only further damage relationships, bringing about a need for major intervention and leadership acrobatics. Meaning you’ll have to allocate intense resources to rebuilding relationships that may or may not be salvageable.

ROAAR-filled white

Here’s an overview of the discreet steps that lead to outstanding results. We call it ROAAR™.

Foundation Level: Relationship
-    Trust and mutual respect exists.
-    People appreciate, recognize, and leverage each others’ differences.
-    People communicate with candor and clarity.


Level Two: Objectives
-    Goals cascade from a Corporate vision and objectives, down to each team and individual.
-    Team and individuals goals are derived inclusively in robust conversations
-    Outcomes are clearly defined and realistic.

Level Three: Agreements
-    Roles and workflow handoffs are clear.
-    Team members debate until real agreements are reached.
-    Team members decline requests that they are unable to meet, then negotiate, remove roadblocks, and prioritize.

Level Four: Actions
-    Task assignments are aligned with strengths and passions
-    Team members put a clear plan into action or recalibrate as new information is gathered.
-    Adjustments are made based on learning acquired from the first stages of the plan which allows members to act skillfully on a larger scale.
-    As roadblocks or problems occur, team members surface them to leadership.

Level Five: Results
-    Results meet or exceed expectations.
-    When results fail to meet expectations, a blame-free analysis seeks to understand causes.

Meanwhile, Back in the Real World
When we present this model in workshops and ask participants, “How far back does root-cause analysis go in your company?” without fail, they’ve told us that when things break, they and their leaders look to the “Act” level first: “Who did (and didn’t do) what?” This shallow analysis creates a witch-hunt mentality where people scramble to get their stories straight and avoid having the blame fall on them. The ensuing self-preservation efforts divert valuable resources away from developing products and services that create loyal customers.

Futility of Fear

And for those who still aren’t convinced—those who think that results happen because you hold people “accountable” and “hold their feet to the fire”—you might be surprised to learn that the environment of fear that you are creating is counter-productive. In short, when people are in fear mode, they become stupid.

It’s true. If your goal is to drop the average IQ of your company, then treat people in a manner that ignites their fight or flight instinct. If you still doubt, just Google “Amygdala Hijack” and learn all about how to lower your competitive advantage and create a hostile workplace.

Identifying and Fixing the Problems: No Witch-Hunt Required

For those courageous leaders who would like some help with effective blame-free analysis, we offer our this complimentary ROAAR™ Analysis Model. This root-cause analysis starts by looking to the foundation (Relationship), then moving up the pyramid, reviewing each factor until sources of breakage are identified and addressed. The primary goal is to learn and prevent future breakages, while increasing trust and capability.We’d love to hear how it is useful to you and welcome your feedback, ideas, and comments. Click here to download a copy.

ROAAR-analysis white

Other Thoughts & Inspirations

Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long by David Rock

“If you don’t make failure acceptable, you can’t have original and unique.”
~ Jeffrey Katzenberg, CEO Dreamworks

“Without relationship, you start at zero.”
~ Kofi Annan

“Clarity about whose head will roll when things go wrong.”
~ Accountability, as defined by Susan Scott in the new bestseller Fierce Leadership

Note: The metaphor of the relationship-based pyramid was inspired by our dear friend Peter Vultaggio, principal of the Lumi Company and brilliant trainer, coach, and business leader.

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Leaving the Land of Denial: eBook Launch

by BrillianceInc | Adapting to Change, Authenticity, Building Teams, Career Satisfaction, Communication, Conversations for Brilliance eBook, Developing Others, Emotional Intelligence, Employee Engagement, Favorite, Innovation, Newsletter Archives, Our Favorites, Relationship & Trust, Science of Leadership, Strengths, Virtual Teams Comments | 0
book image from constant contact

Think you could become fluent in Spanish in a one-day workshop?

Us neither.

How about proficient on piano in one day?

Nope.

Scientific research tell us, (what you already knew intuitively), that it takes at least 21 days of practice to instill a new habit. And, mastery is another thing altogether. If Malcolm Gladwell has it right in his latest book Outliers, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to be superlative in any field.

Yet, when it comes to developing the behaviors that characterize great leadership, many clients expect mastery in a day. We firmly believe that a leadership training workshop is just the beginning.

Practice makes…
If you are in a fabulous training program (like one of ours for example!) you can gain awareness about yourself and others, practice new skills, and plan to implement the behaviors.  While helpful, it’s probably not enough to keep the momentum going while everything in your life and workplace encourages business (and behavior) as usual. If you need any evidence that this is true, just glance at that shelf in your office where good training binders go to die, collecting dust.

Real, lasting improvement begins with epiphanies and takes hold with practice. That is why we became coaches. We saw too many great people fail to turn their insights into action after the (Incredible! Amazing!) workshop ended and reality happened.

Our goal:
Change the way corporations support leadership development so that the efforts create real, sustainable, brilliant results.

We have left the land of denial where we pretended that deep change could happen in a few hours, as long as the content was well designed, the leaders well-intentioned, and the facilitator was incredible.  We want you to join us!

You need support while you create new habits, gain proficiency and eventually, fluency. That is why we created the ebook Conversations for Brilliance: Tools to Help You Inspire Extraordinary Results from Yourself and Others.

Conversations for Brilliance:
With this ebook, you can become your own personal coach and refine (or overhaul) your practice to improve the quality of your conversations, your relationships, and your results. Learning how to consistently have more powerful conversations takes practice.

Leaders don’t have the luxury of practicing their trade off the field. Every day, in every conversation, and with every decision, you are developing yourself as a manager, colleague, influencer, collaborator, parent, trusted partner, etc. You’re practicing anyway…why not get the benefit of some pragmatic, experienced help so you develop the outcomes you need?

What’s in the book:
We’ve included ideas, information, assignments, assessments, and other tools that, when applied with regularity and gusto, will shape your results in all aspects of your life.

Our mission is to help you have more powerful conversations-all conversations, whether with yourself or with others, big or small, long or short, easy or uncomfortable-so that you evoke brilliance in yourself and others.

Are you ready to have more powerful conversations and improve your results? If yes, click here to order your copy.

Testimonials
Here’s what people are saying about the book:

“Conversations for Brilliance is a powerful tool for managers at all levels who want to challenge and inspire their employees, as well as themselves, toward achieving ever improving performance. ”
- JAY S. BENET, VICE CHAIRMAN AND CFO, The Travelers Companies, Inc.

“It’s been said that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of the questions we ask ourselves and others who are central to our success and happiness and, of course, the quality of our answers to those questions. Those who thoughtfully answer the provocative questions posed in Brilliance will have insights galore, plus a wealth of recommendations from which to choose as they step onto a more effective and compelling path. What a great resource!”
- SUSAN SCOTT, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF Fierce Conversations, Achieving Success at Work & in Life – One Conversation at a Time and Fierce Leadership, A Bold Alternative to the Worst “Best” Practices of Business Today

“In Conversations for Brilliance, Denise and Heather succeed in communicating profound and complex leadership concepts in an accessible manner. I recommend this book for good, introspective managers looking for advice on how to grow people-advice that goes beyond the simple management or coaching how-to’s they can find elsewhere.”
- MARIA V. WAYNE, Ph.D. AND SENIOR DIRECTOR, GLOBAL LEARNING AND DEVELOPMENT, Seagate Technology

“Reaching for our potential is in our DNA; we’re each born with an innate desire to discover all the brilliance that lies within us. In Conversations for Brilliance, Denise and Heather provide a guide, a wealth of tools, and practical advice to enrich the journey of discovery. This book is a resource you will find yourself going back to again and again as you navigate the most important relationships in your life.”
- KIRSTEN WOLBERG, CIO salesforce.com

Click here to learn more and order the ebook!

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The Art of Letting Go

by BrillianceInc | Adapting to Change, Communication, Newsletter Archives Comments | 0

Many leaders consider it their job to provide answers. And by leader we mean anyone who needs people, of any age, to follow in order to get things done. This unfortunate and common misunderstanding of the job-description creates all sorts of problems, including: poor financial results, poor employee engagement, poor loyalty, and not very much fun.

A leader’s job, rather, is to create the environment for innovation and help people discover the best possible answers that will result in the best possible outcomes. This is most likely to happen when you take the following 6 steps:

1. Seek out people completely unlike yourself in terms of experience, view of the business and client, and beliefs
2. Ask questions, listen deeply, and pay intense attention
3. Pause for reflection
4. Decide, and then act quickly on a small scale
5. Observe, learn from the results, and adjust accordingly
6. Act in a big, bold way that would have been impossible had you decided and acted alone

Seems fairly straight-forward, no? Then why do we often see this practice instead?

- Decide alone or with like minds, act, and fail to meet desired outcomes
- Repeat and talk about “holding people accountable” then
- Repeat, possibly firing people who aren’t “team players” then
- Fail on a grand scale…which leads to at least two options:

- Leave, blaming the failure on others, and repeat the process elsewhere,
or
- Try something new.

For examples of this leadership technique and its aftermath you can look to Wall Street, American auto-makers, or the Oakland Raiders since 2003, to name a few heart-wrenching examples (for a long-time Raiders fan, that is).

No leader wants to fail. So, why are so many smart, competitive, well-meaning leaders continuously trying to impose their ideas on others, wondering why people don’t always line up in compliance or why results aren’t up to expectations? Answer: years of conditioning and a millennia of programming.

Let’s briefly look at how we often get derailed on our way through the 6 steps in the high-performing process.

Step 1
First off, step 1 (seeking diverse views) is counterintuitive. Our brains are wired with a bias to surround ourselves with people like us. To engage with people unlike ourselves entails overcoming our primitive conditioning to fear or mistrust anyone “different.” It takes a very mindful and confident person to admit that he has this bias, and then act against it.

Step 2-3
Second, steps 2 through 3 (ask questions, listen, pay attention, pause) involve going slow to go fast. And Americans (among others) are generally conditioned to prefer fast. It takes incredible discipline to slow down amidst the competitive pressures and the habit of speed. The pressure to act quickly (and autonomously) is even more intense when leaders are new to a role or expectations and pressures are high.

Step 4-5
Steps 4 and 5 are all about course-correcting based on available evidence. The problem here lies in evaluating evidence objectively, instead of skewing the data (even subconsciously) to prove our assumptions and biases correct. A wise scientist once spoke: “I have trained myself to see what I observe.” One way to ensure that you “see” clearly is to consult people who see the world differently from you, then listen objectively to their feedback, ready to see flaws in your brilliant prototype. Or, you could just plow ahead with your “Flat Earth” campaign and see how that works for you.

Step 6
Finally, step 6 (acting boldly) requires leaders to take a leap of faith. Smart, analytical people can get caught up in scenario planning and fail to act. If you’ve ever been on a team that suffered from “analysis paralysis” you know how draining such inaction can be.

Though challenging and counterintuitive, it can be done: we can intentionally create the conditions for productive innovation. And recall that the first step requires us to seek out council from potentially unlikely sources.

What is possible in conversation
Otto Scharmer of the Presencing Institute describes ground-breaking work with African Leaders. They convened a forum where the most powerful leaders in Africa conversed with the least powerful people imaginable: child victims of AIDS. After one 90-minute conversation with an 11-year old girl, one ex-president changed his point of view and was ready to act differently and with passionate intent. All it took was a conversation.

Conversations with differing people are not that hard to set up, yet we tend to avoid things that slow us down in the short term. But at what cost?

The U.S. military conducts “ground truth” conversations, where the highest ranking officers seek input and listen to lower ranking troops. For, when Generals and politicians act without such insight, really bad stuff tends to happen.

How often are rich, lively, cross-functional conversations taking place in your organization? What would happen if they were commonplace?

Imagine what could be different about the conversations (and results) in your world.

Resources:

Questions for reflection and inspiration:

  • How am I listening to people I disagree with?
  • How readily do people bring me bad news or disagree with me?
  • How am I at creating spaces of silence where reflection, thought, and inspiration can happen?
  • Whom can I seek out to better understand the issue from another side?
  • How do I feel about my results in all aspects of my life?

Video:

This three minute video features a leader (conductor) with his orchestra and guest star performer. Pay careful attention to the conductor at about 2:45 into the video. How is the conductor, not the vocal artist, the leader? How does the conductor let go? What arises when he lets go?

Books:
Presence, Human Purpose and the Field of the Future, by Peter M. Senge, C. Otto Scharmer, Joseph Jaworski, and Betty Sue Flowers
The Art of Possibility, Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander
Blink, Malcolm Gladwell

Links:
Presencing Institute: http://www.presencing.com/
The World Café: http://www.theworldcafe.com/

Quotes:
No one can whistle a symphony. It takes an orchestra to play it.
- H.E. Luccock

We can’t solve problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
- Einstein

Poem/Song excerpt:

Feel the pain
Talk about it…
Open hearts
Feel about it
Open minds
Think about it …

Time to eat all your words
Swallow your pride
Open your eyes…

And anything is possible when you’re
Sowing the seeds of love
Anything is possible
Sowing the seeds of love

- Tears for Fears

Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose
the good we oft might win
by fearing to attempt.
- Shakespeare

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