Leaving the Land of Denial: eBook Launch

by BrillianceInc | Adapting to Change, Authenticity, Building Teams, Career Satisfaction, Communication, Conversations for Brilliance eBook, Developing Others, Emotional Intelligence, Employee Engagement, Favorite, Innovation, Newsletter Archives, Our Favorites, Relationship & Trust, Science of Leadership, Strengths, Virtual Teams Comments | 0
book image from constant contact

Think you could become fluent in Spanish in a one-day workshop?

Us neither.

How about proficient on piano in one day?

Nope.

Scientific research tell us, (what you already knew intuitively), that it takes at least 21 days of practice to instill a new habit. And, mastery is another thing altogether. If Malcolm Gladwell has it right in his latest book Outliers, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to be superlative in any field.

Yet, when it comes to developing the behaviors that characterize great leadership, many clients expect mastery in a day. We firmly believe that a leadership training workshop is just the beginning.

Practice makes…
If you are in a fabulous training program (like one of ours for example!) you can gain awareness about yourself and others, practice new skills, and plan to implement the behaviors.  While helpful, it’s probably not enough to keep the momentum going while everything in your life and workplace encourages business (and behavior) as usual. If you need any evidence that this is true, just glance at that shelf in your office where good training binders go to die, collecting dust.

Real, lasting improvement begins with epiphanies and takes hold with practice. That is why we became coaches. We saw too many great people fail to turn their insights into action after the (Incredible! Amazing!) workshop ended and reality happened.

Our goal:
Change the way corporations support leadership development so that the efforts create real, sustainable, brilliant results.

We have left the land of denial where we pretended that deep change could happen in a few hours, as long as the content was well designed, the leaders well-intentioned, and the facilitator was incredible.  We want you to join us!

You need support while you create new habits, gain proficiency and eventually, fluency. That is why we created the ebook Conversations for Brilliance: Tools to Help You Inspire Extraordinary Results from Yourself and Others.

Conversations for Brilliance:
With this ebook, you can become your own personal coach and refine (or overhaul) your practice to improve the quality of your conversations, your relationships, and your results. Learning how to consistently have more powerful conversations takes practice.

Leaders don’t have the luxury of practicing their trade off the field. Every day, in every conversation, and with every decision, you are developing yourself as a manager, colleague, influencer, collaborator, parent, trusted partner, etc. You’re practicing anyway…why not get the benefit of some pragmatic, experienced help so you develop the outcomes you need?

What’s in the book:
We’ve included ideas, information, assignments, assessments, and other tools that, when applied with regularity and gusto, will shape your results in all aspects of your life.

Our mission is to help you have more powerful conversations-all conversations, whether with yourself or with others, big or small, long or short, easy or uncomfortable-so that you evoke brilliance in yourself and others.

Are you ready to have more powerful conversations and improve your results? If yes, click here to order your copy.

Testimonials
Here’s what people are saying about the book:

“Conversations for Brilliance is a powerful tool for managers at all levels who want to challenge and inspire their employees, as well as themselves, toward achieving ever improving performance. ”
- JAY S. BENET, VICE CHAIRMAN AND CFO, The Travelers Companies, Inc.

“It’s been said that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of the questions we ask ourselves and others who are central to our success and happiness and, of course, the quality of our answers to those questions. Those who thoughtfully answer the provocative questions posed in Brilliance will have insights galore, plus a wealth of recommendations from which to choose as they step onto a more effective and compelling path. What a great resource!”
- SUSAN SCOTT, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF Fierce Conversations, Achieving Success at Work & in Life – One Conversation at a Time and Fierce Leadership, A Bold Alternative to the Worst “Best” Practices of Business Today

“In Conversations for Brilliance, Denise and Heather succeed in communicating profound and complex leadership concepts in an accessible manner. I recommend this book for good, introspective managers looking for advice on how to grow people-advice that goes beyond the simple management or coaching how-to’s they can find elsewhere.”
- MARIA V. WAYNE, Ph.D. AND SENIOR DIRECTOR, GLOBAL LEARNING AND DEVELOPMENT, Seagate Technology

“Reaching for our potential is in our DNA; we’re each born with an innate desire to discover all the brilliance that lies within us. In Conversations for Brilliance, Denise and Heather provide a guide, a wealth of tools, and practical advice to enrich the journey of discovery. This book is a resource you will find yourself going back to again and again as you navigate the most important relationships in your life.”
- KIRSTEN WOLBERG, CIO salesforce.com

Click here to learn more and order the ebook!

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Cultivating Brilliance

by BrillianceInc | Authenticity, Communication, Developing Others, Emotional Intelligence, Employee Engagement, Newsletter Archives, Our Favorites, Relationship & Trust, Uncategorized Comments | 0

Most people don’t wake up wanting to be mediocre. As children, we design visions of profound success and happiness. Still, one day, we reflect that while we may appear successful to others, we don’t feel as though we’ve tapped all our talents to create a truly fulfilling life. We’ve plateaued. And we don’t like it.

One of the most powerful, reliable ways to break through is to work with a partner who, when they speak with us, is intently focused solely on our complete success. Most people don’t have someone like this in their life. And such a partner is so valuable, they are willing to pay for it. Thus, the rise of coaching as a profession.

Though skillful and effective, coaches are no magicians. If you want to improve your relationships, your results, and your satisfaction in every aspect of life, borrow the behaviors of the coaching trade and become a leader who cultivates excellence in yourself and others.

This may sound daunting. Managers lament that they don’t have time to add yet another meeting to their busy work day. We agree. Instead of trying to crow-bar disconnected development conversations into your schedules, weave these behaviors into existing conversations in ways that inspire better results.

Inspirational Conversation:
Coaching conversations don’t have to be long. Inspiration can come in an instant. You can probably recall a moment when a comment, question, or gesture profoundly affected your life’s direction.

For evidence that a brief conversation can be meaningful, look to Hawaii. Hawaiians can have a meaningful exchange using ONE WORD: Aloha. Most people know that Aloha means both “hello” and “goodbye.” Yet, there’s a much deeper, heartfelt meaning that conveys grace, respect, and goodwill. Hawaiians speak of the Aloha Spirit that imbues their world, creating a shared, sacred space.

Our ALOhA Conversation Model for evoking brilliance has four steps: 1) Assess, 2) Learn, 3) Offer help, and 4) Action.

Coaches embody this model as follows:

1. Assess:
They assess all aspects of a situation-self, other, and situation-before deciding how to react in conversation. They examine the baggage they bring to the conversation in the form of assumptions, beliefs, moods, etc. and consciously make an effort to set a positive intention for the conversation and leave unnecessary baggage at the door. If the baggage comes along, they admit it. This could look like a manager saying, “I had a terrible morning and it has nothing to do with you. I am doing my best to leave my morning behind me and be here for our conversation.” Or, “I have a lot of emotion wrapped up in this project.”

2. Learn:
Once in conversation, coaches listen before they jump. They ask questions to learn about the situation instead of making unchecked assumptions. They speak less than the other person. They ask open-ended questions that begin with “What,” “When,” and “How” to help gather information.

3.Offer help:
Once they achieve shared understanding, coaches offer help strategically. They may share an observation, give feedback, praise, or give advice. Or, they may help someone find a new way of looking at the problem that opens up possibilities. We refer to this as recasting.

4. Action:
Finally, they help people take decisive, effective, strategic action.

Not rocket science. But not easy either. We’re simply not conditioned to behave this way in conversations. Most of us make assumptions, act on them, and leave a quick conversation with mutual misunderstanding. People often leave the same meeting with different understandings of what happened and what’s expected.

Moving at warp speed, we’ve misplaced our curiosity, believing that taking time to really understand someone will create a drag. But it’s the haphazard conversations that slow us down and challenge our success. One of the easiest ways to offend someone is to tell them “I know how you feel.” People want to feel understood, and feel seen. Telling them we know how they feel, although it may take less time and may even be sincere, only pushes brilliance further away.

While it may take some effort and practice, it’s worth it to build the capability to slow down, increase you curiosity, and really understand the person before offering help.
Get good at taking these four ALOhA steps often and you’re likely to experience the following:

• You will have a greater impact in your conversations
• People will want to help you achieve your goals
• Your company will save money on leadership coaches and team performance consultants

We invite you to inspire brilliance.
Aloha

Aloha:
Folk etymology claims that the word is derived from the
Hawaiian words alo meaning “presence”, “front”, “face”, or
“share”; and ha, meaning “breath of life” or “essence of life.”

Resources:
Brilliance Inc. eBook: Conversations for Brilliance: Tools to Help You Inspire Extraordinary Results from Yourself and Others. Click here to learn more about the eBook and purchase your copy.

Quotes:

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations.
~ Truman Capote

Each person’s life is lived as a series of conversations.
~ Deborah Tannen, Author

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What Size Is Your Ego?

by Denise Green | Authenticity, Emotional Intelligence, Favorite, Leadership, Newsletter Archives, Our Favorites, Relationship & Trust Comments | 2


I once had an incredible leader pose me an insightful question: “How do I know if my actions are motivated by ego?”

This concept of ego is a confusing one for many leaders. On the one hand, leaders have been led to believe that charisma and a big personality inspire confidence in employees and shareholders. Then, Jim Collins and team wrote the blockbuster Good to Great and reported that the greatest companies are led by humble leaders with names memorable only to those lucky enough to work with them.

I think that part of the confusion stems in part from an incorrect equating of ego and confidence.

Ego: the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world

Ego
So when we say someone has a big ego, we imply that he or she is more focused on one’s self than others. She thinks about actions and events first in terms of how they impact her or what they reveal about her, creating a wall of separation between herself and others that limits her ability to feel empathy.

This self-focus is an unnecessary and unhelpful filter that guides behavior and reduces effectiveness in all areas of life.

We tire of working for people with inflated egos. We spend unnecessary energy trying to influence them and communicate in a way that makes it through their egoistic filter. We limit the amount of information we share because we’ve learned that if it challenges the ego, it won’t be heard and we, the messenger, may suffer.

We prefer to work with people who are self-aware, not self-obsessed. [Read more...]

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Unique Brilliance

by BrillianceInc | Authenticity, Career Satisfaction, Developing Others, Newsletter Archives, Strengths Comments | 0

Ever had someone try to “help” you by trying to mold you into the image that they had in mind? How’d that work out? I’m guessing not well. Yet, we see the phenomenon over and over.

Children grow up and sign on for a career path that their parents wanted for them, only to wake up years later, unfulfilled, wondering whose life they have been living. Managers guide their employees to positions that will diversify their skills, trying to ensure that everyone can do everyone else’s job, and wonder why morale is low. Knowledge of what other team members do is helpful, but being expected to be good at everything your co-workers do is a different matter.

One place you rarely see this is in professional sports. Great coaches know that they have to win to keep their jobs and to keep the mob of fans from dragging them out of town. With so many eyes watching, the great coaches figure out who is good at what and they put them in roles that maximize their innate talent, passion, and learned ability. Can you imagine a coach saying to his star quarterback, “Since you’ve been doing such a great job throwing the ball, I’m going to give you a chance to build your skill at blocking and tackling. We’ll let a linebacker take your job as a stretch assignment.”

Queue the mob.

Gallup found that great managers have given up on trying to make everyone over. Instead, they look for each person’s kernel of brilliance and cultivate it. These managers post incredible results. When people get to shine at work, they are more engaged, more productive, more inspired, and inspirational. When people get to use their brilliance every day, they are more willing to pitch in on work that can be a chore, more willing to coach their peers, and more willing to stay on through difficult times.

No two cut diamonds are alike. Even in the same family, children’s talents and passions can be wildly divergent. If you want to inspire brilliance, start looking for the diamond wanting to shine through. Then help a person cultivate their unique brilliance. You may want to start with yourself.

Questions for Finding Brilliance:

  • When have you felt most satisfied? What skills were you using? What were you learning? What was the environment?
  • What about your job most engages you?
  • What praise has meant the most to you?
  • Assuming that all your needs were taken care of, what work would you do for little to no pay?
  • What talent or knowledge do people seek you out for?
  • What comes easily for you?

Questions for Cultivating Brilliance

  • How could you build more of ____ into your job?
  • What books, classes, or other development opportunities would help you grow in this area?
  • What support do you need from me?

Resources:

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Authentic Brilliance

by BrillianceInc | Authenticity, Emotional Intelligence, Newsletter Archives, Relationship & Trust Comments | 0

In business, as in dinner parties, it’s commonly accepted that if you want to have a pleasing time, you don’t talk politics.

We’re making a departure from that sound theory.

That’s because something strange is happening in the race to the White House that deserves attention in the business world. We are actually seeing examples of positive traits that leaders everywhere can adopt.

What I find most interesting in this unprecedented race is that all of the candidates are playing themselves. That’s right. You may not like their politics, but at least you know who your choices are.

So perhaps for the first time since in politics since the beginning of the TV era, the public is seeing several authentic candidates.

Typically, candidates morph their identities depending on the state they wake up in. Iowa? Hooray for Ethanol! Florida? Hooray for subsidies to build on flood plains! Arizona? Boo to amnesty for illegal immigrants! Michigan? Boo for globalization! California? Hooray for everything!

Not so this time.

When you have a true core, people are very forgiving. People will give you the benefit of the doubt as long as they think you’re not hiding something. Forget or abandon your core, and people smell it.

In addition to authenticity, here are a few more noteworthy leadership traits on display:

  • Appropriate, non-threatening display of emotion that demonstrates your humanness. Hillary’s near tears when faced with a question that hit her in the heart, were one of the factors that may have extended her candidacy. Note, this was not a Howard Dean war-cry moment.
  • Respect people enough to tell them the truth. While Michigan auto workers may not have liked McCain’s admission that some jobs were not coming back, the statement preceded his victory in several states and showed that you could count on him to tell you that you had spinach in your teeth.
  • Admit you’re not perfect…and then focus on the future. What do you do when someone has penned two autobiographies airing all his dirty laundry and placing the blame with no one but himself as Obama has?

While there’s no guarantee the candidates won’t resort to less noble leadership behaviors as the tension mounts, it’s a sure bet that this election will inspire fewer allergic reactions than those of the past.

Brilliant.

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