How to Begin a Great Meeting

Herding Cats

Have you ever led a meeting where you felt that participants’ minds were somewhere else? Maybe another galaxy?

Of course not. I’m sure your meetings are scintillating.

Read this, just in case.

By investing just a few minutes at the beginning of any meeting, you can greatly improve the results AND enhance teamwork and relationships. [Read more...]

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Recipe For Brilliance

Are you in the zone? You know..that place where you feel energized. Where you like going to work, where you feel a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, and gratitude. If you’re not living there, how far away are you? Around the block? Next County? Neighboring planet? For managers, how would your employees answer?

When we ask program participants and clients about times when they felt in the zone, nearly all can name one. Barely anyone claims to there now. And survey research supports this observation. According to a Gallup poll, more than 70 percent of people are disengaged from their job.

There are several key ingredients to peak performance. Knowing them can make it easier to diagnose what’s missing.

Recipe at-a-Glance: One part S (Strengths) to four parts P (Passion, Purpose, Preferences, Progress).

One Part ‘S’

1. Strengths:
In every peak moment, you will find that you are doing what you do best. Strengths may be learned skills or innate abilities. Either way, they are things that you excel at. Sometimes it’s hard to notice your own strength because it comes easily to you. What comes easily to you – public speaking, playing music, interpersonal skills, listening, remembering and using data – is terrifyingly difficult for others. Where you exhibit grace, others stumble or exert more effort for the same or less outcomes.

Ways to determine strengths:

  • Take an inventory assessment: Gallup’s StrengthsFinder or Highlands Ability Battery are good options
  • Recall what tasks at work you do most effortlessly

Four Parts P [Read more...]

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The Key to Delivering Feedback Well

Think about someone you’d like to give corrective feedback to.

Now, imagine yourself about to have a conversation with them about this thing that’s been bugging you.

I bet you feel warm and fuzzy, brimming with anticipation to have this conversation.

No?

Many of us hate the thought of giving feedback so much that we go to great lengths to avoid having the conversation. We may try other strategies to change their behavior that don’t involve actually directly talking to them about it: avoid them; hint about what bothers us; talk to other people about them; or–my personal favorite–resent them for the thing they don’t even realize they’re doing.

Perhaps, if you’re a manager, you just store up all the examples until annual performance review, where you do a surprise macabre unveiling.

That always works out well.

Why do we do this?

Are we cowards? Cruel? I don’t think that’s really it.

I think we fear that someone will get hurt. And most of us don’t relish the thought of causing pain.

There’s lots of advice about do’s and dont’s of feedback. We have a Brilliance Inc feedback delivery model: 5 steps in 30 seconds.*

But I want to talk about something more important than technique.

Intention.

You can follow all the steps you learned in Management 101 training, but if you don’t have the right mindset, you’ll fail to inspire new behaviors and you may cause more harm than good to your relationship and their engagement.

If you enter the conversation worried about causing injury, how might that affect your delivery?

You’re likely to be unclear, uncomfortable, and defensive. Plus, you’ll unconsciously deliver the message through your body language and energy that there’s something to fear. No wonder people want to hide under the desk when they hear the dreaded phrase, “Can I give you some feedback?” Bombs away!!!!!!!!!!!

A New Context About Feedback

What would happen–to you, to your message, to them–if you shifted your intention? If you entered the conversation as though you were about to unveil a gift? A gift that will help this person grow and improve how other perceive him. A gift that others were not confident or generous enough to give.

You’d likely be more at ease and they wouldn’t detect any wonky nervousness that signals a subconscious warning to raise defenses.

A Graceless Gift

I will never forget a bit of feedback I received early in my career. I was 23, a month on the job in Corporate Finance at Oracle, when the Controller stopped about a 2 feet in front of me, pointed at my mouth and said, “We have a dental plan, you know.”

I had gotten so used to my front tooth, broken when I was 8, now discolored and misshapen, that I failed to notice it. Yet, it was one of the first things people saw when I spoke or smiled. And I was so used to living on a student budget, fixing it wasn’t even on my radar.

Was his delivery graceful? No. But it was authentic and carried no ill will. Plus, his very direct approach showed that he thought enough of me to give it and enough of my confidence to say it bluntly.

Was I mortified? Perhaps. I don’t remember. I do remember that within a month, I had a new, gorgeous, tooth. And that was a true gift.

I’m not suggesting you go around directly pointing out flaws. Just stop agonizing about getting the words perfect. You’re likely to stress yourself out unnecessarily and delay (possibly permanently) delivering the helpful feedback. Instead, talk with them today, bringing an intention that you care, and that you come bearing a gift.

Good intention trumps technique every time. Technique with good intention is brilliance.


Let us know how it goes.

*Stay tuned for our free video training on delivering feedback! 5 Steps in 30 Seconds

Related Posts: Feedback that Sticks

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Uncommon Courage (How to Avoid Creating Off-Sites from Hell)

courage

Can you recall a team off-site meeting where real conversations happened and real work got done? Where everyone felt that the time was well spent? If you are lucky enough to recall such an experience, you probably worked for (or are) a courageous leader.

Without leadership courage, department meetings are one-way talk-a-thons. Any inclusion is for appearances only. Silence or corporate nods stand in for meaningful conversation and buy-in. Disagreements are avoided or presumed non-existent. Agenda is king. Participants extract their souls from the meeting to cope with the tedium.

When you inject leadership courage, you increase the likelihood for meaningful exchanges of divergent opinions. You might even achieve real buy-in, make important decisions, and move forward confidently and aligned.

You CAN Handle The Truth

I recently had the opportunity to facilitate an amazing three-day conference for roughly 200 division leaders. The Senior Vice President was new to the job and to me: I had no real sense of his style or his tolerance for ambiguity and truth.

I wanted to create a venue worthy of the participants and the thousands of on-the-job hours sacrificed. Rather than talking heads preaching from the pulpit, I wanted real conversations that would deliver 199 views of reality to the leader.

I proposed a ludicrous idea: provide Audience Response Keypads to permit each participant to respond instantly and anonymously to provoking questions.

He courageously agreed without hesitation.

Not sure what we kind of feedback we would unleash, we publicly committed to asking the questions and revealing the answers instantly.

Imagine a new leader laying out a vision for change and then asking publicly,

“How clear was my vision?”

“How urgent do you believe this is?”

“To what extent is this rubbish?”

And not just asking for the sake of appearing inclusive, but asking and revealing each anonymous response.

After two days of inclusive conversations, he asked one last courageous question: “Do you believe that we should move the department in this strategic vision? Yes or No.

Keeping in mind that responses were anonymous, what percentage do you think responded “yes”?

87% said “Yes, we believe this is the direction we need to go.”

Imitation Courage

Too many new leaders mark their territory by making sweeping changes and overhauling organization charts rather than invest in the hard work of listening, learning, and leading.

A recent HBR study confirmed that while most new leaders prioritize organization overhaul, only a small fraction of those efforts improve performance, and most reorganizations actually harm performance and crush morale. You know; you’ve lived it.

True Courage

Authentic courage doesn’t swagger, but is humble. A courageous leader asks hard questions, listen to all inputs, learns, and adapts based on new information. The courageous leader doesn’t worry about looking all-knowing. Real courage apologizes when it makes mistakes. Real courage says something like: “I know that many of you want me to tell you exactly what we are going to do differently, but I won’t. I won’t because I don’t yet know. I can tell you that it will take all of us to figure this out together. I am committed to holding a vision, removing obstacles, gaining support, and helping you do what you do best. Someday, we might find it necessary to move some of the organizational boxes around, but that will be much further down the road and only when we are clear how it will facilitate decision-making and serve our vision.”

The root of the word courage is heart (from Latin cor, French coeur): The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.

Before you summon your team to the next retreat, find your courage and create a venue worthy of your talent.

And hire a great facilitator.

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How to Tell if You Work in a Fear-Ridden Environment

In our last post, we offered the ROAAR™ model as a way to understand how real work gets done, and provided a ROAAR™ Root-Cause Analysis tool. Here we offer:

Ways to Tell You Work in a Fear-Ridden Environment

feariStock_000006769769XSmall

Check any that apply:

◊   “cya” by email is an evolved and widely practiced art.
◊   Managers are expected to know micro-details of every project on short notice.
◊   The word “accountable” is used often.
◊   The phrase “I messed up” and its cousin, “It’s my fault” are heard rarely.
◊   People initiate and respond to emails after 11:00 pm.
◊   Employees in different departments are considered competitors.

If more than 2 apply to your workplace, you probably work in a high fear zone. If you are the boss, we should talk…soon.

Don’t despair. The situation is reversible. Here’s a list of action you can take to lower fear and increase the IQ and overall effectiveness of your organization.

To-Do List for the Courageous Leader

How to create a blame-free work zone where problems are surfaced early and people do their best work.

  1. -  Evaluate your beliefs and behaviors about risk, blame, leadership, and emotions (see the Confidence and Ego Assessments in our e-book, Conversations for Brilliance).
  2. -  Apologize for acting like a jerk.
  3. -  Strike the word “accountable” from your vocabulary. It’s been ruined and only creates a witch-hunt mentality where people scramble to avoid blame.
  4. -  When you discover problems, quickly and publicly admit your contribution. Use active voice and speak in first person: e.g. “I messed up.”*
  5. -  Calibrate your expectations and illusions of perfection: accept that if you are to have any chance of creating outstanding products and services, then mistakes must happen, and despite such imperfections, you and your customers will most likely survive. Share this belief with others.
  6. -  Invite people to disagree with you. When they do, don’t debate. Instead, ask “What else?” or ‘How can you tell?” or “Say more about that.”
  7. -  Thank the messenger.
  8. -  Take a deep breath, and remind yourself of who you want to be and what you want to create.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
- Philo of Alexandria

“I don’t recall…Mistakes were made.”
- U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez in testimony to the Judiciary Committee investigating the firings of eight US Attorneys.

“The person who can describe reality without laying blame will emerge the leader.”
- Susan Scott, best-selling author of, Fierce Conversations and Fierce Leadership

*This advice pertains specifically to American, and potentially other, high individualistic cultures.

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