When we ask program participants and clients about times when they felt in the zone, nearly all can name one. Barely anyone claims to there now. And survey research supports this observation. According to a Gallup poll, more than 70 percent of people are disengaged from their job.

There are several key ingredients to peak performance. Knowing them can make it easier to diagnose what’s missing.

Recipe at-a-Glance: One part S (Strengths) to four parts P (Passion, Purpose, Preferences, Progress).

One Part ‘S’

1. Strengths:
In every peak moment, you will find that you are doing what you do best. Strengths may be learned skills or innate abilities. Either way, they are things that you excel at. Sometimes it’s hard to notice your own strength because it comes easily to you. What comes easily to you – public speaking, playing music, interpersonal skills, listening, remembering and using data – is terrifyingly difficult for others. Where you exhibit grace, others stumble or exert more effort for the same or less outcomes.

Ways to determine strengths:

• Take an inventory assessment: Gallup’s StrengthsFinder or Highlands Ability Battery are good options
• Recall what tasks at work you do most effortlessly

Four Parts P

1. Passion:
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you like doing it.

Ways to determine passion:

• What tasks do you rarely procrastinate?
• When you do procrastinate, what do you tend to work on instead?
• What projects, work, tasks, do you volunteer or readily take on?
• If you could go back to school now, what would you major in?
• If money were no concern, how would you fill your days?

2. Purpose:
Whether you’re making a difference within a home, a company, or more broadly in the world, you feel like your contribution matters.

Ways to get clear about your purpose:

• What would I do if money were no object?
• What am I here to do?
• How can I add value to others and the world at large?
• How would I like to be remembered?
• What are the three most important lessons I would like to pass on to my children?

3. Preferences:
If your work doesn’t fit your personal preferences, you won’t feel motivated.

Preferences may include working:

• Alone or on a team
• In an office or at home
• At a fast or slow pace
• With a flexible or predictable schedule
• In a quiet or sound-filled environment

Of all the ingredients, this is the one that most fluctuates over time. What matters one day may change the next. Perhaps you were fine with working 60 hours a week when you just graduated college. But not now. Or, maybe a consulting job with lots of travel worked well until you had a child. Now, not so much. Or maybe now that you’re a parent you’d like to travel more!

4. Progress

In August, 2011, Harvard’s Teresa Amabile and Psychologist Steven Kramer published their book The Progress Principle, where they share their findings from a data-rich study of over 200 people in 7 countries. Dan Pink, author of Drive, calls it the best business book he’s read in years. The authors amassed 12,000 days worth of data from study participants and reported fascinating conclusions about what really motivates people at work, and conversely, what chokes creativity and engagement. They found that what motivates people most is making progress on meaningful work. And sadly, they also found that these valued “small wins” are too rare. What can you do? Amabile suggests:

• “Religiously protect at least 20 minutes – and, ideally, much more – every day, to tackle something in the work that matters most to you. Hide in an empty conference room, if you have to, or sneak out in disguise to a nearby coffee shop.
• Make note of any progress you made (even if it was a small win), and decide where to pick up again the next day.”

We also suggest that you

• Allow yourself to really savor the accomplishment, by pausing and letting a sense of satisfaction penetrate you…before you jump back on the hamster wheel. (like savoring clicking the “Publish” button on a blog).

Managers!

• Ask your employees how easy it is to make progress on meaningful work (on a scale of 0-10)
• Ask what gets in the way
• Ask what ideas they have for removing obstacles
• Support them in removing obstacles and check back often to recalibrate

Living Brilliantly

When life feels a little bitter or salty, take a look at the recipe for brilliance. Compare it to your life. Figure out what’s missing and take steps to get it more in balance.

We don’t mean to oversimplify. Taking steps to add a dash of anything may take incredible efforts. This is where it may make sense to find a coaching partner to help you bring some brilliance back to your life. An effective coach knows that living brilliantly involves more than creating quality work. To really feel “in the zone” you need to build a strong foundation of support in all aspects of your life, for example, good health, quality rest, fulfilling relationships, and fun. Every individual has a unique recipe that leads to ultimate fulfillment.

Note, if life feels sweet, just relax and savor.

Managers: this is the key to career development coaching. Many of your staff could use help figuring out how to get in the zone. They may feel awkward admitting to you that their job situation isn’t optimal. You can help by actively helping people develop more of a balance in their recipe.

Recommended Reading

The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz (2004)

Don’t Waste Your Talent: The 8 Critical Steps To Discovering What You Do Best by Bob McDonald, Don E. Hutcheson, Lazar Emanuel, and Thomas N. Tavantzis (2005)

Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance by Marcus Buckingham (2007)

Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton (2001)

The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work by Amabile and Steven Kramer

Note: This is an updated version of the original, first published in our ebook, Conversations for Brilliance. This version was amended to include the very important fourth P, progress on meaningful work.

There’s a lot of great advice to women about how to get ahead: how to have it all, do it all, and look great all the while.

I would like to add one more piece of advice to corporate women: wear comfortable footwear.

That’s right.

Gorgeous Torture

For some time, this topic had been a niggling thought. Then I went over the edge into official annoyance after reading an op-ed piece by one of my favorite journalists, Maureen Dowd, when, in a piece about France’s Christine Lagard — Minister of Economic Affairs, Finances, and Industry — she found it necessary to describe her beige patent Christian Louboutin high heels (pictured right). It’s not just Dowd: it’s the norm. Once I began looking, I noticed that reports of women in leadership often include descriptions of their appearance.

Watch the news and you’ll see female politicians striving to strike just the right balance between power and femininity. They are subjected to scrutiny that their frumpier male counterparts rarely get. Can you imagine Newt getting reamed for big ankles or Obama for wearing last year’s suit? And can you imagine any of them stumping in stilettos?

My beef is actually not with the journalists. It’s with the shoes.

Here’s why this matters. I don’t care what you say; high heels are not comfortable. They contort your feet, toes, legs, and pelvis into unnatural positions and force your weight onto the ball of your foot. And a new study shows that they likely contribute to osteoarthritis.

I’m not making a feminist argument. I’m arguing on behalf of your brain.

An Unnecessary Disadvantage

Leadership is a competitive sport — one that requires you channel your mental and physical energy reserves for optimal performance.

All brain’s have limited reserves of attention. The more discomfort you feel, the more distracted your brain, and the harder it has to work. I AM NOT saying that women in heels are less smart. I AM saying that there is a cost. And businessmen never have to pay it (at least, not until they leave the office, and what they do at home is private — unless they Tweet about it).

So, why do we wear them? Let’s face it: they are lovely and they help us look and feel beautiful. Were it not for sciatica and a hip deformation, I’d probably still be wearing them.

Williams Girl Power

Worried that you won’t feel beautiful without the shoes? For inspiration, think of these powerful sisters who manage to be feminine and stylish on and off the field (but who save the heels for after the competition).

Shoes Are Just the Beginning

What are you saying yes to — for beauty or anything else — that no longer serves you? What are you saying yes to that results in resentment, pain, or distraction?

Here are Some Examples of Unnecessary Distractions:

- Home-baked cookies and cupcakes (when all you really had time for was a trip to Safeway)

- Saying yes to everything thrown at you

- Hanging out with people who steal your energy

- Trying to be perfect at anything

- Resentment (like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die)

- Guilt (for crimes you haven’t committed)

- Comparison (“I should be more like…”)

A Movement

I picture a movement where women say no to anything that robs them of their strength and energy. Where they embrace attitudes, actions (and yes, attire) that helps them feel empowered and at ease.

You can join me in this nascent movement on Twitter (@brillianceinc). Tell me what you’ve decided to say no to, and in saying no, what you are saying yes to. Please bring a sense of serious levity and end your Tweet with #nocruelshoes so others can join in on the conversation.

And, if you’ve found a great pair of comfortable, feminine, professional-looking shoes, post it here in the comments or on Twitter chatroom #nocruelshoes.

Here’s a stunning collection from CEO and ballroom dancing aficionado, Anyi Lu. To learn more about what motivated her to go from Chemical Engineer to Chief Shoemaker, check out her NYTimes article, Farewell, Aching Feet.

Men, you are free to join us there and declare your own freedom from unnecessary sacrifice!

Resources

Listen to Steve Martin’s Comedy Classic: Cruel Shoes

For truly incredible insights as to why we have too few women in leadership, check out the speeches delivered by Facebook COO Sandberg with grace, authenticity, and humor (and lovely, really high, shoes).

Read: Sandberg’s Commencement Address to Barnard College

Watch: Sandberg’s TEDtalk

“Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it in high heels and backwards.”

Don't go it Alone

If knowledge and insight were all it took to change our habits, we could just read a great self-help book or take a course and voilà: excellence!

No Magic Wand

Sadly (for those of us who like instant gratification), it takes effort and practice to shift patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. You’ve developed your current state over years of accidental practice and attention: it’ll take some time and effort to develop new, stronger habits (aka, neural pathways). You’ll be tested a million times a day and have a million opportunities to return to your comfort zone.

Got Support to Thrive?

This is why even coaches have coaches. We all need someone who can listen without judgment and help us see things in a way that opens up better possibilities for action. Someone who can help us stay focused and support our efforts to change. Someone who can remind us why we’re putting ourselves through the discomfort and who can highlight the small positive changes that would otherwise fail to get noticed and appreciated.

“When you’re weary, find relief. When you’re strong, find delight.”

- Martha Beck, author, coach

Before You Get Support, Build Capacity

And sometimes, even that’s not enough. Knowing the tools exist, and being able to explain the tools intellectually isn’t enough. When we are in pain — depressed, sleep deprived, injured, etc. — we need triage support to build up our resources so we have the capacity to improve. Once we’ve alleviated the acute symptoms, we can pursue higher goals.

Don’t I know it.

After my daughter was born, I suffered many months of severe sleep-deprivation and anxiety before I finally sought medical advice. I was surviving, but certainly not thriving. My brain was in a negative loop. I recall thinking that I knew how to escape my negative thoughts, but I lacked the capacity to use the tools. It took two PTSD diagnoses for me to decide that I couldn’t self-coach myself out of my state.

My brain is now healed and I once again feel vibrant, thanks to some great practitioners.

You don’t have to settle for less than excellence. Get the support you deserve.

Resources

Get Support: Find a Coach

• New Ventures West: A global resource founded in the Bay Area (Note: Brilliance Inc. founders are graduates)
• Brilliance Inc: Work with Heather Andersen or Denise Green
• Ask someone you admire who they would recommend
  • Here’s a plug for my coach Judith Duhl, great for career transitions and life-coaching

Build Capacity: Get Your Brain and Body Back in Harmony

Dr.’s in The Bay Area (and my hero’s in health). These amazing people have EQ and crazy-good skills.

• Dr. Raj Patel (South Bay/Peninsula) – Holistic MD
• Dr. Morgan Camp (Mill Valley) – Holistic MD
• Dr. Robert Gamburd - Physiatrist (Sports Medicine)

Video: I love this short video where author Tony Schwartz offers unconventional and really useful advice to help us all thrive. Here’s a hint:

“If you don’t eat for 5 days, you’ll be hungry; if you don’t sleep well for 5 days, you’ll be psychotic.”

- Tony Schwartz

Article: Via author and neuroleadership guru David Rock, this article describes our brains under depression

Tool: When you’re ready to thrive, try our complimentary and powerful Thoughts Upgrade Tool to help shift your attention to create better results in any area of your life.

Our last post featured excerpts from the late David Foster Wallace, one of the most respected and revered writers of our time. He suffered from severe depression and when the treatments failed him after 20 years, he chose a final tragic escape. He left behind a treasure of work.

Please share any resources you recommend to help people survive and thrive.

Little did I know that the content would become so personal to the Brilliance Inc. team. Since our founding 2008, we’ve had the luxury of proximity. We could brainstorm around the same pad of paper or flip chart, share challenges and successes across the table, strategize and debrief meetings in the car pool lane.

And that luxury is about to become history as life takes us in different geographic directions.

So here are some reminders that I offer to myself, my team, and any of you who are charged with achieving great things with others at a distance.

Working remotely can feel like you are isolated on an island. Not entirely a bad thing at times, but posing real challenges. In order to truly feel like a cohesive team and exceed your goals, you need to build sturdy, reliable bridges. In our program, Communicating Across Networks, we focus on three of the most important links.

Bridge #1: Connection

Relationships and trust are critical to any high-performing team. And if you’ve ever been new to a team, or worked on a team with low trust, you know how much extra effort it takes to get stuff done. When teams have trust, benefit of the doubt, a sense of humor, and true connections, mistakes and misunderstandings are merely speed bumps. Without trust, mistakes become mountains, where people play a version of corporate musical chairs to avoid sitting in the blame seat. Strong relationships can be forged and maintained regardless of geographic location. But it takes intention, skill, and constant awareness and effort to do it over phone and email.

Bridge #2: Clarity

Misunderstanding is common. And when communicating across networks, misunderstanding seems to be the NORM. Communications via email and text, even in the same language, can require translation. I can relate to George Bernard Shaw’s quote that “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”.

In the age of texting and shorthand communication, it can be tempting to assume we understand and move on. Clarifying your statements, assumptions, expectations, requests and intentions becomes even more important when you can’t infer from someone’s body language or tone.

Bridge #3: Commitment

Ever wrongly assumed that silence meant agreement? Tasks fail to get done when we presume commitment that isn’t real or when we don’t clearly grasp someone’s full workload. Clarifying who’s doing what by when and with what support, will help strengthen the other two bridges (connection and clarity). It takes courage to admit that one is not committed to a task.

Best Bridge-Building Behaviors

Key behaviors help create effective, engaged, dispersed teams. Perhaps the most essential are these:

• - Assume positive intent in others
  - Be curious and seek to understand
  - Display authentic, appropriate humanness (e.g. admitting fear or fault)
  - Adjust to the audience (tone, content, speed, medium, approach)
  - Offer clear, requests, statements, declines, opinions, praise, and feedback.
  - Recognize and appreciate differences

Here’s to the team (mine and yours)!

Think you could become fluent in Spanish in a one-day workshop?

Us neither.

How about proficient on piano in one day?

Nope.

Scientific research tell us, (what you already knew intuitively), that it takes at least 21 days of practice to instill a new habit. And, mastery is another thing altogether. If Malcolm Gladwell has it right in his latest book Outliers, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to be superlative in any field.

Yet, when it comes to developing the behaviors that characterize great leadership, many clients expect mastery in a day. We firmly believe that a leadership training workshop is just the beginning.

Practice makes…
If you are in a fabulous training program (like one of ours for example!) you can gain awareness about yourself and others, practice new skills, and plan to implement the behaviors.  While helpful, it’s probably not enough to keep the momentum going while everything in your life and workplace encourages business (and behavior) as usual. If you need any evidence that this is true, just glance at that shelf in your office where good training binders go to die, collecting dust.

Real, lasting improvement begins with epiphanies and takes hold with practice. That is why we became coaches. We saw too many great people fail to turn their insights into action after the (Incredible! Amazing!) workshop ended and reality happened.

Our goal:
Change the way corporations support leadership development so that the efforts create real, sustainable, brilliant results.

We have left the land of denial where we pretended that deep change could happen in a few hours, as long as the content was well designed, the leaders well-intentioned, and the facilitator was incredible.  We want you to join us!

You need support while you create new habits, gain proficiency and eventually, fluency. That is why we created the ebook Conversations for Brilliance: Tools to Help You Inspire Extraordinary Results from Yourself and Others.

Conversations for Brilliance:
With this ebook, you can become your own personal coach and refine (or overhaul) your practice to improve the quality of your conversations, your relationships, and your results. Learning how to consistently have more powerful conversations takes practice.

Leaders don’t have the luxury of practicing their trade off the field. Every day, in every conversation, and with every decision, you are developing yourself as a manager, colleague, influencer, collaborator, parent, trusted partner, etc. You’re practicing anyway…why not get the benefit of some pragmatic, experienced help so you develop the outcomes you need?

What’s in the book:
We’ve included ideas, information, assignments, assessments, and other tools that, when applied with regularity and gusto, will shape your results in all aspects of your life.

Our mission is to help you have more powerful conversations-all conversations, whether with yourself or with others, big or small, long or short, easy or uncomfortable-so that you evoke brilliance in yourself and others.

Are you ready to have more powerful conversations and improve your results? If yes, click here to order your copy.

Testimonials
Here’s what people are saying about the book:

“Conversations for Brilliance is a powerful tool for managers at all levels who want to challenge and inspire their employees, as well as themselves, toward achieving ever improving performance. ”
- JAY S. BENET, VICE CHAIRMAN AND CFO, The Travelers Companies, Inc.

“It’s been said that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of the questions we ask ourselves and others who are central to our success and happiness and, of course, the quality of our answers to those questions. Those who thoughtfully answer the provocative questions posed in Brilliance will have insights galore, plus a wealth of recommendations from which to choose as they step onto a more effective and compelling path. What a great resource!”
- SUSAN SCOTT, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF Fierce Conversations, Achieving Success at Work & in Life – One Conversation at a Time and Fierce Leadership, A Bold Alternative to the Worst “Best” Practices of Business Today

“In Conversations for Brilliance, Denise and Heather succeed in communicating profound and complex leadership concepts in an accessible manner. I recommend this book for good, introspective managers looking for advice on how to grow people-advice that goes beyond the simple management or coaching how-to’s they can find elsewhere.”
- MARIA V. WAYNE, Ph.D. AND SENIOR DIRECTOR, GLOBAL LEARNING AND DEVELOPMENT, Seagate Technology

“Reaching for our potential is in our DNA; we’re each born with an innate desire to discover all the brilliance that lies within us. In Conversations for Brilliance, Denise and Heather provide a guide, a wealth of tools, and practical advice to enrich the journey of discovery. This book is a resource you will find yourself going back to again and again as you navigate the most important relationships in your life.”
- KIRSTEN WOLBERG, CIO salesforce.com

Click here to learn more and order the ebook!

Children grow up and sign on for a career path that their parents wanted for them, only to wake up years later, unfulfilled, wondering whose life they have been living. Managers guide their employees to positions that will diversify their skills, trying to ensure that everyone can do everyone else’s job, and wonder why morale is low. Knowledge of what other team members do is helpful, but being expected to be good at everything your co-workers do is a different matter.

One place you rarely see this is in professional sports. Great coaches know that they have to win to keep their jobs and to keep the mob of fans from dragging them out of town. With so many eyes watching, the great coaches figure out who is good at what and they put them in roles that maximize their innate talent, passion, and learned ability. Can you imagine a coach saying to his star quarterback, “Since you’ve been doing such a great job throwing the ball, I’m going to give you a chance to build your skill at blocking and tackling. We’ll let a linebacker take your job as a stretch assignment.”

Queue the mob.

Gallup found that great managers have given up on trying to make everyone over. Instead, they look for each person’s kernel of brilliance and cultivate it. These managers post incredible results. When people get to shine at work, they are more engaged, more productive, more inspired, and inspirational. When people get to use their brilliance every day, they are more willing to pitch in on work that can be a chore, more willing to coach their peers, and more willing to stay on through difficult times.

No two cut diamonds are alike. Even in the same family, children’s talents and passions can be wildly divergent. If you want to inspire brilliance, start looking for the diamond wanting to shine through. Then help a person cultivate their unique brilliance. You may want to start with yourself.

Questions for Finding Brilliance:

• When have you felt most satisfied? What skills were you using? What were you learning? What was the environment?
• What about your job most engages you?
• What praise has meant the most to you?
• Assuming that all your needs were taken care of, what work would you do for little to no pay?
• What talent or knowledge do people seek you out for?
• What comes easily for you?

Questions for Cultivating Brilliance

• How could you build more of ____ into your job?
• What books, classes, or other development opportunities would help you grow in this area?
• What support do you need from me?

Resources:

• First, Break All the Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman
• StrengthsFinder 2.0: A New and Upgraded Edition of the Online Test from Gallup’s Now, Discover Your Strengths by Tom Rath