Secret to Legendary Leadership

What do the world’s most admired, effective, & fulfilled leaders have that others don’t?

LOVE.

No, not the romantic kind. This love won’t get you in trouble with Human Resources.

I’m talking about the kind of love where you genuinely care about the success and well-being of others—your family, your employees, your partners, your customers.

Love and the Bottom Line

You can tell when a company has a culture of love. Flown lately? If you flew Southwest, you probably felt it.  If you called a customer service rep at Zappos, you probably felt it.

Can you get rich without love? Sure. There are no shortage of loveless leaders and companies who treat employees and customers as means to profit. And they spend millions of wasted dollars and energy on lawsuits, PR, and high employee turnover.

Without love, you’re missing a key strategic variable because: [Read more...]

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Do You Suffer from Delusions of Smallness?

Delusional Clients

I’m fortunate to partner with clients who inspire me with their courage, vision, and wit. Sadly, many of them don’t readily see what I see in them: they fail to notice the positive impact they have on others and may suffer from doubt, guilt, and loneliness.

And it’s not just top execs who suffer from this delusion.

Do You Suffer from Delusions of Smallness?

Here are some indicators:

  • You fail to give yourself the same care and consideration as you give others (or your dog).
  • You worry that all you’ve achieved is undeserved or ephemeral.
  • You treat your body as a machine that runs on coffee and doesn’t require ample rest and rejuvenation.
  • You say yes to all demands even if it means sacrificing sleep, sanity, and relationships.
  • You apologize often for things outside your control, as in “I’m so sorry I didn’t respond to your 2:00 a.m. email” or “I’m so sorry it’s raining.”
  • You compare yourself to others or to some ideal vision of who you think you should be.

Reality Check
No matter who you are or what you do for a living, if you ignore your body’s needs for rest, nutrition, and exercise, it will break down someday…almost certainly at a very inconvenient time and place. (Note, it’s possible, but highly unlikely, that you’ll get lucky and earn a standing ovation from 3,000 people after passing out stage as my buddy Steve Roesler did).

What You Can Do About It [Read more...]

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Change How You Are, Not Who You Are

Change for Good

As an Executive Coach, my job is to help people change for good. Not everyone is ready for such a project.  Some people just want everyone around them to change instead. And others worry that if they change their behaviors, they’ll come off as inauthentic—a fake. Truth is, if you’re unable to adapt your approach to people and situations, your relationships will suffer and your career will hit a wall.

Authenticity Misunderstood

Authenticity is about being real…not rigid.  That is, it’s not about stubbornly holding on to valued personality traits—or even beliefs—that aren’t working. The most successful leaders adapt to people and situations gracefully and appropriately. [Read more...]

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Flex Your Do-Gooder Muscles

(This post may look a little long because it’s packed with juicy quotes and ideas for you to put into practice.)

Dr. Jekyll

Most of us like to think we’re good people and that, if put in an unethical or dangerous situation, we’d do the right, noble thing. We claim assuredly that if given power, we’d wield it fairly; or that we’d call the police if we saw someone getting abused.

Perhaps.

But study after troubling study shows that the majority of us, when put in certain difficult circumstances, would act in ways we’d later be ashamed of. The truth is, while on the fringes of society we can talk about saints and sociopaths, we are all capable of good and evil.

Mr. Hyde

I had the pleasure of listening to Philip Zimbardo at a recent Neuroleadership Conference. Since then, I’ve been thinking a lot about good and evil. While you may not recognize his name, you’re probably familiar with his infamous 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment where normal, healthy people cast as guards became sadistic authoritarians, while those cast as prisoners became hopeless and traumatized. The 2-week simulation experiment was cut short after just 6 days.

People aren’t born heroes. Our brains run on a 100,000-year-old operating that errs on the side of self-protection and suspicion. Scientists literally refer to it as negativity bias. Put in a threatening situation, our brain makes saving ourselves top priority.

While it may not be our default nature to act in others’ best interest, we can retrain ourselves. We can build a heroic brain and become the person we’d like to be — the person we claim to be. And when we act heroically, we improve our home environment, work environment, and communities. In essence, we improve the lives of everyone we touch, including our own.

Here are some essential hero-building steps: [Read more...]

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Celebrate Every Age

Dia de Los Muertos

On this Day of the Dead (aka All Souls Day), I celebrate another birthday.

I love my birthday.

I often marvel when people lament their birthdays. It’s not that I don’t understand where they might be coming from. I don’t romanticize growing older.  I know that birthdays can remind us that we’re drawing closer to our death. But that’s true of every moment, and you don’t hear people complaining every 5 minutes that they’re closing in on death.

Reflecting on why I might have a somewhat unusual context about aging, I recall my Grandma Dori’s frequent saying about birthdays: It sure beats the alternative.”

My context is influenced not just by my family, by my own health history which has a bit of a Benjamin Button quality about it so far. I began life needing to have my hip rebuilt. At age 6 my vision got bad enough to warrant thick glasses. At 22, I was in an car accident and broke my back, which led to over a decade of pain and sciatica. At 27, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.

So, while my contemporaries were thriving physically in their 20s, I was trying to heal physical conditions often associated with old age.*

Seeking treatment for these conditions led me to a world I would have never sought had I been pain free. As a result, I discovered healers and treatments–Western, Eastern, Ancient, and High Tech–that many people don’t know exist. And I discovered this truth: [Read more...]

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