Last week we introduced you to our over-committed client Mary, and the Life Satisfaction Assessment. Now we want to know what you discovered.

What would you change about your life in order to be more happy and successful?

Why am I so nosy? Simple: I WANT TO HELP! I have weeks worth of incredible content but it means nothing if it’s not what you need right NOW.

So please take a moment (more like 90 seconds) to respond to a short questionnaire. Click here to go to the survey.

I’ll Trade You A Book for Your 90 Seconds

And since I know how hard it is to motivate you to take those 90 seconds, I’d like to offer a free gift. Anyone who responds to the survey will receive our acclaimed ebook: Conversations for Brilliance AND be entered in a drawing to receive a free 1 hour coaching session with me. I don’t even offer private coaching so please take me up on this special offer and enter the contest.

Share Your Story!

Want to submit two entries to the contest? Just send us a story about how the eGuide, How to Say No With Grace, Not Guilt has inspired or helped you. You can email your stories to info@brillianceinc.com or on our online Contact Us Form.

Here’s to your Brilliance!

Warmest Regards,

Denise

My new client Mary described herself as “super-busy.” She told me, “I’m not sure what I want to work on. My life is pretty good and I’m overall pretty happy.”

I asked her to take my 3-minute Life Satisfaction Assessment and we’d go over it in our next session. When we talked next she said she was stunned: she didn’t realize that her satisfaction was so out of whack in some very important areas of her life.

Her life was full…but not fulfilling.

Mary was suffering from the results of saying yes to so many people and things, that she didn’t have the capacity to say yes to things that would create a truly fulfilling life.

Can you relate?

If you worry about how to say no so that you maintain relationships and credibility, take the assessment yourself and take one step closer to the life you deserve. Click to get your Life Satisfaction Assessment and Instructions.

Here’s to your brilliance.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

~ Annie Dillard

What, No Confetti?

I recently experienced the same thing I tell my clients, and honestly, it was a bit deflating.

Yet, it was the right feeling. It meant success. It meant the board’s efforts in developing its strategic plan, debating objectives, defining strategies, and nit-picking select words had been worth the effort. The new board member with whom I reviewed the plan, simply said, “Thanks for that overview. It makes sense to me. It seems pretty straightforward, but it covers a lot of ground, which it needs to. How can I help?”

That was it.

He didn’t applaud. He didn’t say, “Wow Liz. This is amazing! It’s the most concise, focused, yet results-oriented strategic plan I’ve ever seen!” He wasn’t awed or tantalized by the plan. He didn’t appear ready to start an organization-wide campaign to “get everyone on board” by creating new banners and giving out buttons. He simply wanted to start moving it forward.

And because of that, the plan is already working.

Effective strategic planning (or for that matter any project planning) is only effective when it creates a clear roadmap for the team responsible for making it happen.

When it creates excitement, shock and awe, but confusion, chaos, conflicts, and frustration are soon to follow.  And this is why many of my clients have painful memories of prior strategic planning initiatives. They were well intentioned. They felt good and right during the process. But they yielded a document of little value, that caused more headaches than value because no one remembers what they meant as the various pieces of the plan were created. Their plans sound nice, but require subsequent meetings to discuss what was meant instead of actually working the plan.

Because of this all-too-common focus on creating lofty plans intended to inspire instead of clarify, I tell my clients:

If we’ve developed your strategic plan well, the rest of the team will understand it and accept it when it’s shared with them. However, be prepared: they won’t be amazed or barely able to contain their applause, because it won’t be awe-inspiring: it’ll be clear but challenging. In fact, some of them may say, “It took you how many meetings to come up with just these few sheets of paper?” And, that’s the type of reaction we want. We don’t want them to be amazed, in shock, awed, or paralyzed by fear. We want them to hear it or read it, and “get it.”

Because if they “get it,” they have a pretty clear picture of what we’re asking them to help work towards. When they “get it,” they aren’t paralyzed by confusion.

They can help make it happen.

And that’s the purpose of a well-developed plan. Even though the planning teams wouldn’t mind just a bit of applause….

Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2012 – Liz Weber, CMC – Weber Business Services, LLC – www.WBSLLC.com

You can see the whole post, resources, and comments on Liz' blog here.

You can connect with Liz on Facebook and Twitter

Dia de Los Muertos

On this Day of the Dead (aka All Souls Day), I celebrate another birthday.

I love my birthday.

I often marvel when people lament their birthdays. It’s not that I don’t understand where they might be coming from. I don’t romanticize growing older.  I know that birthdays can remind us that we’re drawing closer to our death. But that’s true of every moment, and you don’t hear people complaining every 5 minutes that they’re closing in on death.

Reflecting on why I might have a somewhat unusual context about aging, I recall my Grandma Dori’s frequent saying about birthdays: “It sure beats the alternative.”

My context is influenced not just by my family, by my own health history which has a bit of a Benjamin Button quality about it so far. I began life needing to have my hip rebuilt. At age 6 my vision got bad enough to warrant thick glasses. At 22, I was in an car accident and broke my back, which led to over a decade of pain and sciatica. At 27, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.

So, while my contemporaries were thriving physically in their 20s, I was trying to heal physical conditions often associated with old age.*

Seeking treatment for these conditions led me to a world I would have never sought had I been pain free. As a result, I discovered healers and treatments–Western, Eastern, Ancient, and High Tech–that many people don’t know exist. And I discovered this truth:

Your thoughts about what’s possible will greatly affect your health.

That is, if you believe that you can get better, you will look with fervor. And with this tenacious seeking, you’re likely to find something that helps. And conversely, if you believe you’re stuck with what you’ve got, you’re unlikely to seek and find.

Sure, I have aches and pains. In fact, as I write this I’m nursing a knee injury and trying to get over a nasty cold and adrenal fatigue.  But in the big picture, I have perfect vision, a strong hip, no auto-immune disease, and no sciatic pain.

Check your beliefs about pain, suffering, and aging. Then square them against this fact:

Science has found no biological markers for determining an individual’s age.

Here’s to your health and many happy, thriving days ahead!

Books:

• Counterclockwise by Ellen Langer
• My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor
• You’re Only Old Once! A Book for Obsolete Children by Dr. Suess
• Say Goodbye to Illness by Dr. Devi Nambudipad

Related Links:

Want to Thrive? Ask Delusional Questions This post contains links to some of my healing heroes

Rest in peace, Betty

Additional Healing Resources for Our Animal Companions

Book: The Nature of Animal Healing

Oakland Vet: Creature Comfort, Holistic Animal Center

For dogs with cruciate (ACL) injuries: Woundwear harnesses.

* All of my conditions are relatively common: I’m so grateful to have been born into a time and place where treatments exist and to be fortunate enough to have access to affordable insurance.

Please share your healing stories and resources!

“What are you pretending not to know?”

- Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations

Cracks in the Foundation

My house in Oakland was built in 1924 on a steep downward slope. When someone would ask if my house had a bolted foundation, I’d say something like “Oh, I’m sure it must” and would change the subject. I liked to assume that, since a lot of renovations had taken place before we moved in, someone must have fixed it.  The fact that someone had actually sealed off any access to the foundation made it easier for me to ignore it: can’t assess what you can’t see.

For a while, this avoidance strategy saved me money. Then, a crack in the foundation revealed itself. And over the course of a year, with a few minor earthquakes, and good ol’ gravity, the crack grew. It grew until one day, I decided to pull my head out of the sand and bring in an expert to tell me what I had.

Expert Deniers

We humans are really good at ignoring cracks in all sorts of foundations: the body that we keep pushing until we suffer a debilitating injury or illness; the resentment that we allow to fester until the relationship is beyond repair; the key employee that we ignore until they quit and sign up with the competition; the waistline that grows until we can’t button our skinny pants…then our fat pants.

The laundry…

Just in Time

The General Contractor told me that, while half of my house had a new bolted foundation, the other half was sitting (and sliding) on an original slab.

The work to replace the foundation took just 13 days. Five days after completion, we had an earthquake and aftershock with an epicenter less than 10 miles away. We were jolted but the house didn’t suffer a single crack.

Sure, I would have liked to have spent the money elsewhere, but the feeling of strength, stability, and security I gained was worth it.

Facing the Truth

Pulling your head out of the sand and shining light on the thing that scares you takes courage. And once you do, you can begin to take steps to repair. Until then, you are powerless to improve your situation, and you continue to skid in the wrong direction.

Questions for Reflection

1. What problems am I ignoring in my:

• Health
• Relationships
• Reputation
• Happiness
• Finances
• Career

2. What’s the story I tell myself that helps me ignore the truth?
3. What will happen in 6 months if I change nothing?
4. What’s most vital that I change?
5. What’s the most potent first step I can take toward improving it?
6. Whose help do I want to enlist to support me?*

* Don’t even think of going it alone. Find a friend, coach, mental or physical health practitioner, or a class to support you as you begin to change the goblin before it becomes unruly.

Here’s a ‘during’ and ‘after’ shot of my house. The excellent work was done by All Seasons Construction.

Balancing on a stack of boards.

Solid as a rock.

Related Blog: Guru Michael Hyatt shares his advice on making the most of a near crisis in this great post.

]]> http://brillianceinc.com/facingthethingthatscaresyou/feed/ 2 http://brillianceinc.com/recipe-for-brilliance/ http://brillianceinc.com/recipe-for-brilliance/#comments Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:56:04 +0000 BrillianceInc http://brillianceinc.com/blog/?p=51 Are you in the zone? You know..that place where you feel energized. Where you like going to work, where you feel a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, and gratitude. If you’re not living there, how far away are you? Around the block? Next County? Neighboring planet? For managers, how would your employees answer?

When we ask program participants and clients about times when they felt in the zone, nearly all can name one. Barely anyone claims to there now. And survey research supports this observation. According to a Gallup poll, more than 70 percent of people are disengaged from their job.

There are several key ingredients to peak performance. Knowing them can make it easier to diagnose what’s missing.

Recipe at-a-Glance: One part S (Strengths) to four parts P (Passion, Purpose, Preferences, Progress).

One Part ‘S’

1. Strengths:
In every peak moment, you will find that you are doing what you do best. Strengths may be learned skills or innate abilities. Either way, they are things that you excel at. Sometimes it’s hard to notice your own strength because it comes easily to you. What comes easily to you – public speaking, playing music, interpersonal skills, listening, remembering and using data – is terrifyingly difficult for others. Where you exhibit grace, others stumble or exert more effort for the same or less outcomes.

Ways to determine strengths:

• Take an inventory assessment: Gallup’s StrengthsFinder or Highlands Ability Battery are good options
• Recall what tasks at work you do most effortlessly

Four Parts P

1. Passion:
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you like doing it.

Ways to determine passion:

• What tasks do you rarely procrastinate?
• When you do procrastinate, what do you tend to work on instead?
• What projects, work, tasks, do you volunteer or readily take on?
• If you could go back to school now, what would you major in?
• If money were no concern, how would you fill your days?

2. Purpose:
Whether you’re making a difference within a home, a company, or more broadly in the world, you feel like your contribution matters.

Ways to get clear about your purpose:

• What would I do if money were no object?
• What am I here to do?
• How can I add value to others and the world at large?
• How would I like to be remembered?
• What are the three most important lessons I would like to pass on to my children?

3. Preferences:
If your work doesn’t fit your personal preferences, you won’t feel motivated.

Preferences may include working:

• Alone or on a team
• In an office or at home
• At a fast or slow pace
• With a flexible or predictable schedule
• In a quiet or sound-filled environment

Of all the ingredients, this is the one that most fluctuates over time. What matters one day may change the next. Perhaps you were fine with working 60 hours a week when you just graduated college. But not now. Or, maybe a consulting job with lots of travel worked well until you had a child. Now, not so much. Or maybe now that you’re a parent you’d like to travel more!

4. Progress

In August, 2011, Harvard’s Teresa Amabile and Psychologist Steven Kramer published their book The Progress Principle, where they share their findings from a data-rich study of over 200 people in 7 countries. Dan Pink, author of Drive, calls it the best business book he’s read in years. The authors amassed 12,000 days worth of data from study participants and reported fascinating conclusions about what really motivates people at work, and conversely, what chokes creativity and engagement. They found that what motivates people most is making progress on meaningful work. And sadly, they also found that these valued “small wins” are too rare. What can you do? Amabile suggests:

• “Religiously protect at least 20 minutes – and, ideally, much more – every day, to tackle something in the work that matters most to you. Hide in an empty conference room, if you have to, or sneak out in disguise to a nearby coffee shop.
• Make note of any progress you made (even if it was a small win), and decide where to pick up again the next day.”

We also suggest that you

• Allow yourself to really savor the accomplishment, by pausing and letting a sense of satisfaction penetrate you…before you jump back on the hamster wheel. (like savoring clicking the “Publish” button on a blog).

Managers!

• Ask your employees how easy it is to make progress on meaningful work (on a scale of 0-10)
• Ask what gets in the way
• Ask what ideas they have for removing obstacles
• Support them in removing obstacles and check back often to recalibrate

Living Brilliantly

When life feels a little bitter or salty, take a look at the recipe for brilliance. Compare it to your life. Figure out what’s missing and take steps to get it more in balance.

We don’t mean to oversimplify. Taking steps to add a dash of anything may take incredible efforts. This is where it may make sense to find a coaching partner to help you bring some brilliance back to your life. An effective coach knows that living brilliantly involves more than creating quality work. To really feel “in the zone” you need to build a strong foundation of support in all aspects of your life, for example, good health, quality rest, fulfilling relationships, and fun. Every individual has a unique recipe that leads to ultimate fulfillment.

Note, if life feels sweet, just relax and savor.

Managers: this is the key to career development coaching. Many of your staff could use help figuring out how to get in the zone. They may feel awkward admitting to you that their job situation isn’t optimal. You can help by actively helping people develop more of a balance in their recipe.

Recommended Reading

The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz (2004)

Don’t Waste Your Talent: The 8 Critical Steps To Discovering What You Do Best by Bob McDonald, Don E. Hutcheson, Lazar Emanuel, and Thomas N. Tavantzis (2005)

Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance by Marcus Buckingham (2007)

Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton (2001)

The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work by Amabile and Steven Kramer

Note: This is an updated version of the original, first published in our ebook, Conversations for Brilliance. This version was amended to include the very important fourth P, progress on meaningful work.

Which mood will it be?

Had any negative thoughts recently that you just couldn’t seem to shake?

Maybe someone cut you off in traffic and it bugged you the whole commute. Or maybe the company issued yet another dictum that had you steaming all day. Or maybe you keep running a frustrating conversation over and over again in your mind. Ever get home and dump accumulated frustration on the closest innocent victim?

Blame it on your left brain.

Actually, make that a peanut-sized area of your left brain.

Our left brain is our story-teller. Its job is to make sense of moment-by-moment inputs. And since it never has all the data it needs, it fills in the gaps, weaving so seamlessly that the story in our head feels like the inescapable truth. The cells that comprise this story-teller part of our brain are about the size of a peanut. Yet, they do their job so well, we ride along as if we had no choice, letting it loop and continually flood our bodies with cortisol and other stress-related chemicals.

According to Jill Bolte-Taylor — brain scientist, stroke survivor, and author — getting hooked on emotionally charged narratives of anger, resentment, guilt, shame, or fear for long periods can have devastating consequences on our physical and mental well-being because of the powerful ways they affect our emotional and physiological circuitry.

It’s vital to our health and relationships that we learn how to experience the emotion and then shift away.

And if you’re in a leadership role (at work or home), it’s vital to the mental and physical health of everyone around you because a leader’s mood is contagious.

90 Seconds of Pain

One of my favorite insights from Taylor’s book, My Stroke of Insight, is that it takes 90 seconds for an emotionally-charged thought to move through the body. In those 90 seconds you may have symptoms like shortness of breath, jaw tension, chest-ache, a strong desire to choke someone (to name a few) while the thought-induced chemicals move through your cells. After 90 seconds, the blood stream is clear of it.

So why don’t we feel better after 90 seconds?

If allowed, the peanut-brain will keep weaving a story and keep dumping stress chemicals into the body. You have to interrupt the story and redirect your attention. You have to take control.

5 Steps to Shift the Barreling Thought-Train to a Better Track

1. Notice the thought

Before you can shift away from the damaging story, you have to notice that your brain is telling a story! Most of us let our thoughts drive us instead of making conscious decisions about what we think.

2. Bring your attention to your body

Allow your body to experience the reaction. What part of your body is affected? For me, my facial muscles tense and my breath gets shallow. Then, move your attention to your feet and feel your feet against your shoes. Take a deep breath, notice sounds and smells in the room.

3. Deliberately shift to a different thought that brings a sense of ease and pleasure. Bolte-Taylor suggests thinking about one of the following:

• something fascinating or
• something that brings you joy or
• something you would like to do

4.  Feel the new physical sensations. Once you’ve jumped off the negative loop, allow the tense muscles to loosen and notice what peace feels like in your body.

5. Repeat. You’ll have ample opportunities to practice. Over time, you can make the shift quicker, and more often, resulting in better mental and physical health, freeing you up to share your talents and positively affect others.

These steps are immensely harder to do when you are sleep-deprived or otherwise incapacitated. Check out our recent post — Tools Are Not Enough — about seeking support from many directions so you can take control of your moods and your life.

Some Resources

Complimentary thought-shifting tool that we use with our clients

Related posts: Best Director

Video: Jill Bolte-Taylor’s inspirational, memorable TEDtalk

Book: My Stroke of Insight (Kindle, Bound, or Audio): This is going on my must-read book list for humans. I dare you to read it and fail to find insights you can use to improve your life.

“If I want to retain my inner peace, I must be willing to consistently and persistently tend the garden of my mind moment by moment, and be willing to make the decision a thousand times a day.”

- Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight

Below is an image I conjure to hit the brakes and switch tracks. The construction history fascinates me and the vacation memories bring me joy.

What works for you?

Brunelleschi's Duomo

There’s a lot of great advice to women about how to get ahead: how to have it all, do it all, and look great all the while.

I would like to add one more piece of advice to corporate women: wear comfortable footwear.

That’s right.

Gorgeous Torture

For some time, this topic had been a niggling thought. Then I went over the edge into official annoyance after reading an op-ed piece by one of my favorite journalists, Maureen Dowd, when, in a piece about France’s Christine Lagard — Minister of Economic Affairs, Finances, and Industry — she found it necessary to describe her beige patent Christian Louboutin high heels (pictured right). It’s not just Dowd: it’s the norm. Once I began looking, I noticed that reports of women in leadership often include descriptions of their appearance.

Watch the news and you’ll see female politicians striving to strike just the right balance between power and femininity. They are subjected to scrutiny that their frumpier male counterparts rarely get. Can you imagine Newt getting reamed for big ankles or Obama for wearing last year’s suit? And can you imagine any of them stumping in stilettos?

My beef is actually not with the journalists. It’s with the shoes.

Here’s why this matters. I don’t care what you say; high heels are not comfortable. They contort your feet, toes, legs, and pelvis into unnatural positions and force your weight onto the ball of your foot. And a new study shows that they likely contribute to osteoarthritis.

I’m not making a feminist argument. I’m arguing on behalf of your brain.

An Unnecessary Disadvantage

Leadership is a competitive sport — one that requires you channel your mental and physical energy reserves for optimal performance.

All brain’s have limited reserves of attention. The more discomfort you feel, the more distracted your brain, and the harder it has to work. I AM NOT saying that women in heels are less smart. I AM saying that there is a cost. And businessmen never have to pay it (at least, not until they leave the office, and what they do at home is private — unless they Tweet about it).

So, why do we wear them? Let’s face it: they are lovely and they help us look and feel beautiful. Were it not for sciatica and a hip deformation, I’d probably still be wearing them.

Williams Girl Power

Worried that you won’t feel beautiful without the shoes? For inspiration, think of these powerful sisters who manage to be feminine and stylish on and off the field (but who save the heels for after the competition).

Shoes Are Just the Beginning

What are you saying yes to — for beauty or anything else — that no longer serves you? What are you saying yes to that results in resentment, pain, or distraction?

Here are Some Examples of Unnecessary Distractions:

- Home-baked cookies and cupcakes (when all you really had time for was a trip to Safeway)

- Saying yes to everything thrown at you

- Hanging out with people who steal your energy

- Trying to be perfect at anything

- Resentment (like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die)

- Guilt (for crimes you haven’t committed)

- Comparison (“I should be more like…”)

A Movement

I picture a movement where women say no to anything that robs them of their strength and energy. Where they embrace attitudes, actions (and yes, attire) that helps them feel empowered and at ease.

You can join me in this nascent movement on Twitter (@brillianceinc). Tell me what you’ve decided to say no to, and in saying no, what you are saying yes to. Please bring a sense of serious levity and end your Tweet with #nocruelshoes so others can join in on the conversation.

And, if you’ve found a great pair of comfortable, feminine, professional-looking shoes, post it here in the comments or on Twitter chatroom #nocruelshoes.

Here’s a stunning collection from CEO and ballroom dancing aficionado, Anyi Lu. To learn more about what motivated her to go from Chemical Engineer to Chief Shoemaker, check out her NYTimes article, Farewell, Aching Feet.

Men, you are free to join us there and declare your own freedom from unnecessary sacrifice!

Resources

Listen to Steve Martin’s Comedy Classic: Cruel Shoes

For truly incredible insights as to why we have too few women in leadership, check out the speeches delivered by Facebook COO Sandberg with grace, authenticity, and humor (and lovely, really high, shoes).

Read: Sandberg’s Commencement Address to Barnard College

Watch: Sandberg’s TEDtalk

“Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it in high heels and backwards.”

Don't go it Alone

If knowledge and insight were all it took to change our habits, we could just read a great self-help book or take a course and voilà: excellence!

No Magic Wand

Sadly (for those of us who like instant gratification), it takes effort and practice to shift patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. You’ve developed your current state over years of accidental practice and attention: it’ll take some time and effort to develop new, stronger habits (aka, neural pathways). You’ll be tested a million times a day and have a million opportunities to return to your comfort zone.

Got Support to Thrive?

This is why even coaches have coaches. We all need someone who can listen without judgment and help us see things in a way that opens up better possibilities for action. Someone who can help us stay focused and support our efforts to change. Someone who can remind us why we’re putting ourselves through the discomfort and who can highlight the small positive changes that would otherwise fail to get noticed and appreciated.

“When you’re weary, find relief. When you’re strong, find delight.”

- Martha Beck, author, coach

Before You Get Support, Build Capacity

And sometimes, even that’s not enough. Knowing the tools exist, and being able to explain the tools intellectually isn’t enough. When we are in pain — depressed, sleep deprived, injured, etc. — we need triage support to build up our resources so we have the capacity to improve. Once we’ve alleviated the acute symptoms, we can pursue higher goals.

Don’t I know it.

After my daughter was born, I suffered many months of severe sleep-deprivation and anxiety before I finally sought medical advice. I was surviving, but certainly not thriving. My brain was in a negative loop. I recall thinking that I knew how to escape my negative thoughts, but I lacked the capacity to use the tools. It took two PTSD diagnoses for me to decide that I couldn’t self-coach myself out of my state.

My brain is now healed and I once again feel vibrant, thanks to some great practitioners.

You don’t have to settle for less than excellence. Get the support you deserve.

Resources

Get Support: Find a Coach

• New Ventures West: A global resource founded in the Bay Area (Note: Brilliance Inc. founders are graduates)
• Brilliance Inc: Work with Heather Andersen or Denise Green
• Ask someone you admire who they would recommend
  • Here’s a plug for my coach Judith Duhl, great for career transitions and life-coaching

Build Capacity: Get Your Brain and Body Back in Harmony

Dr.’s in The Bay Area (and my hero’s in health). These amazing people have EQ and crazy-good skills.

• Dr. Raj Patel (South Bay/Peninsula) – Holistic MD
• Dr. Morgan Camp (Mill Valley) – Holistic MD
• Dr. Robert Gamburd - Physiatrist (Sports Medicine)

Video: I love this short video where author Tony Schwartz offers unconventional and really useful advice to help us all thrive. Here’s a hint:

“If you don’t eat for 5 days, you’ll be hungry; if you don’t sleep well for 5 days, you’ll be psychotic.”

- Tony Schwartz

Article: Via author and neuroleadership guru David Rock, this article describes our brains under depression

Tool: When you’re ready to thrive, try our complimentary and powerful Thoughts Upgrade Tool to help shift your attention to create better results in any area of your life.

Our last post featured excerpts from the late David Foster Wallace, one of the most respected and revered writers of our time. He suffered from severe depression and when the treatments failed him after 20 years, he chose a final tragic escape. He left behind a treasure of work.

Please share any resources you recommend to help people survive and thrive.

Pay Careful Attention

Our thoughts fuel actions that lead to results.

A weird thing about ‘truths’ is that they are malleable. We get to pick and choose ‘em. But before we can exert any power of choice, we must first notice what truths we hold. And this noticing is much harder than it seems.

Given that it’s graduation season, I’d like to offer a few excerpts from David Foster Wallace’s unorthodox and imminently useful 2005 commencement address to Kenyon College.

About the Liberal Arts Education

“…learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed.”

Choice

“You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn’t. You get to decide what to worship.”

Challenge

“…it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head“

Choosing Well

He goes on to describe in all-too-real detail the often tedious adult world that awaits them, and to offer an approach full of grace, presence, and compassion.

“I can choose to force myself to consider the likelihood that everyone else in the supermarket’s checkout line is just as bored and frustrated as I am, and that some of these people probably have harder, more tedious and painful lives than I do.”

“The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline,and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.”

Amen to that.

More Resources and Reminders.

• One of my current favorite resources on the topic is neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor’s book My Stroke of Insight: her great effort to help others benefit from her journey after losing her left-brain functions in a stroke. Short on time? Get the audio book and make your commute, waiting room, or check-out line more fruitful. Or, see her TEDTalk – perhaps the best 18 minutes you’ll ever spend online.

• The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle – Popular for a reason, this book can help you find space (and peace) between your thoughts.

• Incredible Advice to Grads (and the rest of us) from David Brooks: It’s Not About You

• David Rock’s practical, irreverent post on Psychology Today The Neuroscience of Mindfulness

“Mindfulness isn’t difficult: the hard part is remembering to do it.”

- David Rock

My thanks to Scott Curwood for sending me the Wallace speech!