Delusional Clients
I’m fortunate to partner with clients who inspire me with their courage, vision, and wit. Sadly, many of them don’t readily see what I see in them: they fail to notice the positive impact they have on others and may suffer from doubt, guilt, and loneliness.
And it’s not just top execs who suffer from this delusion.
Do You Suffer from Delusions of Smallness?
Here are some indicators:
- You fail to give yourself the same care and consideration as you give others (or your dog).
- You worry that all you’ve achieved is undeserved or ephemeral.
- You treat your body as a machine that runs on coffee and doesn’t require ample rest and rejuvenation.
- You say yes to all demands even if it means sacrificing sleep, sanity, and relationships.
- You apologize often for things outside your control, as in “I’m so sorry I didn’t respond to your 2:00 a.m. email” or “I’m so sorry it’s raining.”
- You compare yourself to others or to some ideal vision of who you think you should be.
Reality Check
No matter who you are or what you do for a living, if you ignore your body’s needs for rest, nutrition, and exercise, it will break down someday…almost certainly at a very inconvenient time and place. (Note, it’s possible, but highly unlikely, that you’ll get lucky and earn a standing ovation from 3,000 people after passing out stage as my buddy Steve Roesler did).
What You Can Do About It
- Make exercise, sleep, and healthy eating a priority. You don’t have to do this alone. Find partners–nutritionists, MDs, Sleep therapists, personal trainers etc. who can help you make lasting changes. Don’t give up until you have a thriving body with ample energy.
- Say ‘yes’ to work that is the best use of you and ‘no’ to work that can be delegated or stopped. When you delegate well you grow and inspire others.
- Recognize what is within your sphere of control and influence, and learn to accept the rest.
- Get perspective - Have a coach or HR partner interview staff to find out how you are truly perceived.
- Get networked - Leadership is lonely. Find colleagues you can talk to honestly.
- Practice gratitude. This is one of the best ways to get out of a funk. Pay thanks to everyone and anyone who helped you get where you are: teachers, coaches, bosses, professors, the BART conductor, the assembly line worker who built your car, the barrista…you get the idea.
- Eschew perfection. Stop making homemade cookies for your child’s bake sale. Outsource everything you can and focus your attention on quality time with people you care about.
- Eschew guilt. Guilt is rarely helpful and mostly toxic and unnecessary. If you find that you’ve had an integrity outage, apologize and do better. If you’re feeling guilty for not being superhuman, get over it. Examine your choices and limitations, choose how to spend your time, and move on.
- Embrace fun. Listen to vintage Steve Martin. Watch stupid YouTube videos. Go on the rides with your kid. Do whatever makes you smile and belly laugh. Take things less seriously.
Prioritize You
As you examine your long to-do list, recall that in forests, thousands of small species depend on the health and strength of the tallest trees. When you take care of yourself, everyone around you benefits.
“Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”
- Marianne Williamson
Medical Resource
I have the pleasure of recommending my MD, Dr. Morgan Camp who specializes in helping busy executives return their bodies to balance and find optimal health. I have first-hand knowledge that he gets people thriving quickly. His office is in Mill Valley, CA and he also consults by phone. Make yourself a priority today.
Book
The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working by Tony Schwartz
Conversations for Brilliance
