If knowledge and insight were all it took to change our habits, we could just read a great self-help book or take a course and voilà: excellence!
No Magic Wand
Sadly (for those of us who like instant gratification), it takes effort and practice to shift patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. You’ve developed your current state over years of accidental practice and attention: it’ll take some time and effort to develop new, stronger habits (aka, neural pathways). You’ll be tested a million times a day and have a million opportunities to return to your comfort zone.
Got Support to Thrive?
This is why even coaches have coaches. We all need someone who can listen without judgment and help us see things in a way that opens up better possibilities for action. Someone who can help us stay focused and support our efforts to change. Someone who can remind us why we’re putting ourselves through the discomfort and who can highlight the small positive changes that would otherwise fail to get noticed and appreciated.
“When you’re weary, find relief. When you’re strong, find delight.”
- Martha Beck, author, coach
Before You Get Support, Build Capacity
And sometimes, even that’s not enough. Knowing the tools exist, and being able to explain the tools intellectually isn’t enough. When we are in pain — depressed, sleep deprived, injured, etc. — we need triage support to build up our resources so we have the capacity to improve. Once we’ve alleviated the acute symptoms, we can pursue higher goals.
Don’t I know it.
After my daughter was born, I suffered many months of severe sleep-deprivation and anxiety before I finally sought medical advice. I was surviving, but certainly not thriving. My brain was in a negative loop. I recall thinking that I knew how to escape my negative thoughts, but I lacked the capacity to use the tools. It took two PTSD diagnoses for me to decide that I couldn’t self-coach myself out of my state.
My brain is now healed and I once again feel vibrant, thanks to some great practitioners.
You don’t have to settle for less than excellence. Get the support you deserve.
Get Support: Find a Coach
- New Ventures West: A global resource founded in the Bay Area (Note: Brilliance Inc. founders are graduates)
- Brilliance Inc: Work with Heather Andersen or Denise Green
- Ask someone you admire who they would recommend
- Here’s a plug for my coach Judith Duhl, great for career transitions and life-coaching
Build Capacity: Get Your Brain and Body Back in Harmony
Dr.’s in The Bay Area (and my hero’s in health). These amazing people have EQ and crazy-good skills.
- Dr. Raj Patel (South Bay/Peninsula) – Holistic MD
- Dr. Morgan Camp (Mill Valley) – Holistic MD
- Dr. Robert Gamburd - Physiatrist (Sports Medicine)
Video: I love this short video where author Tony Schwartz offers unconventional and really useful advice to help us all thrive. Here’s a hint:
“If you don’t eat for 5 days, you’ll be hungry; if you don’t sleep well for 5 days, you’ll be psychotic.”
- Tony Schwartz
Article: Via author and neuroleadership guru David Rock, this article describes our brains under depression
Tool: When you’re ready to thrive, try our complimentary and powerful Thoughts Upgrade Tool to help shift your attention to create better results in any area of your life.
Our last post featured excerpts from the late David Foster Wallace, one of the most respected and revered writers of our time. He suffered from severe depression and when the treatments failed him after 20 years, he chose a final tragic escape. He left behind a treasure of work.
Please share any resources you recommend to help people survive and thrive.